James (or Jane) and the Giant Peach

Here we are: week 13! I would think it's safe to say that we are officially in the Second Trimester now. But "The Bump" says that doesn't happen til NEXT week. But, either way, you, my friend, are roughly the size of a PEACH!

This is big news because, well, Peaches are pretty big! This means that soon enough, your Mother will be entering the "definitely showing a baby bump" phase that has thus-far eluded her. (She's still convinced she's in the "lay off the sweets, lady" phase [aka a root beer belly])


But, speaking about size, things are supposedly progressing quite nicely for you in your Mom's belly. You are quickly reaching human proportions: your head is now only about 1/3 the size of your body. That looks a lot more normal than you did a couple weeks ago when your head was the same size as your body!

See? Having a head 1/3 the size of your body looks almost normal. Though, I feel that champagne flute will be useless to someone with those proportions.

Something else is happening to you this week, and I gotta say, it's gonna make a world of difference for you down the line. According to sources, this week, your intestines are making a strategic move. They're relocating from the umbilical cord (which you don't get to keep) into your tummy! I think you'll really be pleased with this change; your intestines can serve you a lot better inside your tummy than housed in a weird-looking tube hooked up to your belly button. And trust me, as a Weinstein, you'll be using those intestines!

Speaking of the old intestines, your Mom's nausea has almost gone all away! But she still is not hungry for a lot of food. She is, however, hungry for a little bit of food about 76 times a day. If you're an old wife (like Mimi or Nannah (which is the decided-upon name for Nita!)), then you might use this eating-pattern information to predict your gender.

Of course, we already discussed the speed of the heartbeat indicating that you might be a girl (based on nothing but fiction, of course).

But, the other old wives tale that says that women pregnant with boys can't stop eating and never get full; women pregnant with girls eat more like birds, picking only what they want, eating little amounts frequently and having their mothers regurgitating that food into their mouths (or something like that). Well, your mother is quite peckish, and gets full pretty easily. So that would also indicate "girl!" But, my co-worker had two baby boys and was also peckish with her eating habits during pregnancy.

So there you go. Another gender prediction busted! So, as for now we don't know if you're Jane or James (neither are names we're considering). But, we do know that you are one cute peach!

Week 11: Lime Time

Wow, we sure are tearing it up on our journey through the produce section.

You are now 11 weeks old and, according to our friends over at the Bump, you are about the size of a lime, or about 1.6 inches long and .25 ounces.

I'm not even going to tempt your Mom with a bag full of limes around the house; she would eat them all. And then bye-bye, enamel.

But, besides your growth from prune to lime, some more really incredible developments have been happening in your Mom's tummy:

1. Added Head Room

No offense, but remember how goofy you looked in your last sonogram because your head was twice the size of your body?

So, the good news is that your body is growing more rapidly now, and instead of a 2:1 ratio from body to head, you now enjoy a 1:1 ratio from body to head! That's right, your head is just as long as your body, at that point. Now, that still looks decidedly goofy, as I will demonstrate below. But the good news is that you're growing in all the right places, and soon you'll be in proportion!

See, those proportions don't really look good on anyone. And don't get me started on the neck-strain!

2. Making First Steps to become a Land-Dweller

Now, I wish we could make the same claim for some of our friends, but you, my child, theoretically no longer have webbed fingers and toes! Granted, this will probably add a minute or two to your 100 Meter Freestyle time, but you're probably gonna spend most of your time on dry land, so webbed fingers and toes aren't really needed anyway.

Plus, having un-webbed digits will greatly increase the selection of gloves you can buy!

Webbed Fingers and toes didn't stop Kermit from being a mean banjo player, though.

3. INVISIBLE BABY



Okay, this probably isn't as cool as it sounds. Sure, you're growing skin as we speak. But right now that skin is, that's right, almost invisible! But, don't get any wise ideas: you're not invisible like Wonder Woman's Jet...and you certainly couldn't strip to your skivvies (which you're currently growing, also) and rob a bank unnoticed.



It seems that having invisible skin isn't really a super-power at this stage.



Your skin is so transparent that your blood vessels are showing right through! Weird!



So, as you can tell, it's an exciting week to be a growing baby! On top of all that, my sources tell me that you're starting to form hair folicles, tooth buds and finger & toe nails!


Keep at it, baby! You're taking giant steps forward-- but don't get a big head about it!