James (or Jane) and the Giant Peach

Here we are: week 13! I would think it's safe to say that we are officially in the Second Trimester now. But "The Bump" says that doesn't happen til NEXT week. But, either way, you, my friend, are roughly the size of a PEACH!

This is big news because, well, Peaches are pretty big! This means that soon enough, your Mother will be entering the "definitely showing a baby bump" phase that has thus-far eluded her. (She's still convinced she's in the "lay off the sweets, lady" phase [aka a root beer belly])


But, speaking about size, things are supposedly progressing quite nicely for you in your Mom's belly. You are quickly reaching human proportions: your head is now only about 1/3 the size of your body. That looks a lot more normal than you did a couple weeks ago when your head was the same size as your body!

See? Having a head 1/3 the size of your body looks almost normal. Though, I feel that champagne flute will be useless to someone with those proportions.

Something else is happening to you this week, and I gotta say, it's gonna make a world of difference for you down the line. According to sources, this week, your intestines are making a strategic move. They're relocating from the umbilical cord (which you don't get to keep) into your tummy! I think you'll really be pleased with this change; your intestines can serve you a lot better inside your tummy than housed in a weird-looking tube hooked up to your belly button. And trust me, as a Weinstein, you'll be using those intestines!

Speaking of the old intestines, your Mom's nausea has almost gone all away! But she still is not hungry for a lot of food. She is, however, hungry for a little bit of food about 76 times a day. If you're an old wife (like Mimi or Nannah (which is the decided-upon name for Nita!)), then you might use this eating-pattern information to predict your gender.

Of course, we already discussed the speed of the heartbeat indicating that you might be a girl (based on nothing but fiction, of course).

But, the other old wives tale that says that women pregnant with boys can't stop eating and never get full; women pregnant with girls eat more like birds, picking only what they want, eating little amounts frequently and having their mothers regurgitating that food into their mouths (or something like that). Well, your mother is quite peckish, and gets full pretty easily. So that would also indicate "girl!" But, my co-worker had two baby boys and was also peckish with her eating habits during pregnancy.

So there you go. Another gender prediction busted! So, as for now we don't know if you're Jane or James (neither are names we're considering). But, we do know that you are one cute peach!

You know, my Grandfather was a plum(ber)

It's officially Week 12 and that means you are officially the size of a plum! You're about 2.1 inches across now!

I think it's quite fitting how two weeks ago you were the size of a dried plum, and now you are the size of a plum. It's as if you're being slowly rehydrated. Unlike your grandparents, some of whom seem to be slowly being dehydrated!

Week 12 also, apparently, marks a transition from your "critical development" stage to the "growth and maturation" stage. Kind of like the Beatles after their Shea Stadium concert where they had reached a critical mass in popularity and decided to retire from the public spotlight a little to work on songwriting and maturing. Yeah, I know, you're sick of the Beatles already. Well, get over it, kid! Your mother and I love the Beatles!

But, what does this mean for you, all this "stage shifting?"

It means that almost all of your systems are fully formed. This makes it even cooler that you are a plum this week. Your great grandfather Sam was a plumber. You are now a plum...a plum whose plumbing is now all hooked up.

That's kind of an odd toy to be playing with, right?

On a different note, Operation Buy-Your-Mom-Pants-That-Fit was not a success. She did not see any pants she liked. But, on the plus side (or is that 'plus size'), I did succeed in convincing her to buy a few bigger bras. You see, your Mom is gaining a lot of weight in that area because that will be your food source for a while. But, she's not used to those being so in-the-way; and her back has been hurting! So hopefully new undergarments will give her the support she needs..because, sometimes you need a bit more than emotional support.

I couldn't figure out if week 12 marks the last week of the first trimester or the first week of the second trimester. Granted, I didn't do that much research. But, I will ask Dr. Hagood tomorrow. That's right! We're going to see the doctor again tomorrow! But, more importantly, we're going to see YOU again tomorrow!

So smile big and brush your hair (if you have any), because it's time for your third photo op tomorrow! We're so excited and can't wait to see you and hear your heart beat again!