James (or Jane) and the Giant Peach

Here we are: week 13! I would think it's safe to say that we are officially in the Second Trimester now. But "The Bump" says that doesn't happen til NEXT week. But, either way, you, my friend, are roughly the size of a PEACH!

This is big news because, well, Peaches are pretty big! This means that soon enough, your Mother will be entering the "definitely showing a baby bump" phase that has thus-far eluded her. (She's still convinced she's in the "lay off the sweets, lady" phase [aka a root beer belly])


But, speaking about size, things are supposedly progressing quite nicely for you in your Mom's belly. You are quickly reaching human proportions: your head is now only about 1/3 the size of your body. That looks a lot more normal than you did a couple weeks ago when your head was the same size as your body!

See? Having a head 1/3 the size of your body looks almost normal. Though, I feel that champagne flute will be useless to someone with those proportions.

Something else is happening to you this week, and I gotta say, it's gonna make a world of difference for you down the line. According to sources, this week, your intestines are making a strategic move. They're relocating from the umbilical cord (which you don't get to keep) into your tummy! I think you'll really be pleased with this change; your intestines can serve you a lot better inside your tummy than housed in a weird-looking tube hooked up to your belly button. And trust me, as a Weinstein, you'll be using those intestines!

Speaking of the old intestines, your Mom's nausea has almost gone all away! But she still is not hungry for a lot of food. She is, however, hungry for a little bit of food about 76 times a day. If you're an old wife (like Mimi or Nannah (which is the decided-upon name for Nita!)), then you might use this eating-pattern information to predict your gender.

Of course, we already discussed the speed of the heartbeat indicating that you might be a girl (based on nothing but fiction, of course).

But, the other old wives tale that says that women pregnant with boys can't stop eating and never get full; women pregnant with girls eat more like birds, picking only what they want, eating little amounts frequently and having their mothers regurgitating that food into their mouths (or something like that). Well, your mother is quite peckish, and gets full pretty easily. So that would also indicate "girl!" But, my co-worker had two baby boys and was also peckish with her eating habits during pregnancy.

So there you go. Another gender prediction busted! So, as for now we don't know if you're Jane or James (neither are names we're considering). But, we do know that you are one cute peach!

Blanket Brigade

You have a growing army of people making you hand-crafted blankets and quilts.

I'm not sure if these people think it is extra cold in our house or something, but they certainly never voice any thermal discomfort while visiting! Maybe babies just need blankets like peanut butter needs jelly.

So, when you come out, you're going to have bunches of blankets and slews of hand-sewn stuff!

We're not too sure of your design preferences right now; do you have your Mom's womb all feng shui? And we don't even know your favorite colors; in fact, it's probably really dark in there so you most likely haven't seen any colors at all. I'll try holding a flashlight to your Mom's bellybutton today so you can see some colors.

Even though you probably don't have any preference on colors or design, we've got your back anyway.

We talked Mimi out of using the "Every-color" yarn to make her blanket. And the ones she ended up with are waaaay better, and don't even slightly resemble clown vomit!

Bozo May have lost his Lunch.

Nannah Joon is making you an extra cool blanket with a literary theme. But not like "Anna Karenina" literary; so don't worry about not being into the Russian masters quite yet.

And, I don't use the word "cute" too often. (In fact, I hate it when people call my man-mobile "cute.") But, your Aunt Sham has some really cute fabric on it that has a whole bunch of insects playing instruments (no, not like the Beatles, but you're getting pretty clever!). We're not sure what she's making with said fabric, but things are looking promising for you in the blanketing department!

The Bug Band Fabric?

You're going to love what all your loved ones have in store for you. And if you're too young to contemplate a complex emotion like love, at least you'll probably drool all over the blankets!

On a side note, I hope you like socks. Your Mom has been on a huge sock-animal kick lately and has made you a monkey and a giraffe.

Two of your Mom's Creations, Living Life to the Fullest.

Granted, nobody has anything left to wear on their feet, but at least your crib will be well stocked with foot-shaped friends!

With all the talented people in our family, though, I wouldn't be surprised if even more cool DIY projects are looming!

Sympathy...Wait.

We also learned at our Doctor's appointment on Tuesday that your Mom has actually lost a little bit of weight since the last appointment. Now, don't fear. That's totally normal for the first trimester (with all the yakking (which your mom never actually did) and food aversions). The Doctor said that it was highly unlikely that she'd ever weigh in as less than before for the rest of the pregnancy.

But, no your Mom has a card to play in the cravings game. I try my best to steer us away from bad/fattening/greasy/horrible foods. So, yesterday night, your Mom had a craving for Arby's.

Since my body is my temple, I am proud to say that I've never sullied the grounds with a Big Beef and Cheddar. That is, until last night.

Can they legally claim that?

I was trying to talk her out of it: "I'll make you nachos!" "How about fried rice?" "What about a Chicken Pot Pie?" All of those sounded healthier to me than fast food roast beef.

But your Mom wisely played this card: "Aaron, you've got to fatten me up."

We had a coupon. I caved. Your Mom and I both ate...ewwww... Arby's.

It wasn't half bad! But, of course, that also means that half of it WAS bad. Meaning, it tasted great while we were eating it, but the following approximate 10 hours were not so good. Special Sauce, indeed.

Even though your Mom has lost weight since the 8 weeks sonogram, we still think we can see the evolution of the bump. In fact, these pictures are starting to look a little bit like "The Evolution of Man."

Evolution of Man



Evolution of You. Can you see the bump?
Or maybe you are just seeing the Arby's...

Fitting Revenge

Your Mom and I went shopping over the weekend with the intent of getting her some new pants. Some larger pants. Some pants that fit her. Some pants that she can wear without having to discretely unbutton while sitting down. That was the plan.


Somehow, though, that plan was completely reversed: I wound up getting a pair of pants. But not just any pants, and not necessarily the pair of pants I would have purchased for myself. Your Mom, and the nice lady cleaning out the rest of the dressing room stalls, were offering all sorts of advice.

But baggy khakis are sometimes just more comfortable, Jared!

In an effort to get me out of "baggy" clothes and into a pair of pants that actually show off the fact that I have legs (the Weinstein chicken legs...pray you don't get those) and a tuchas (also pray you don't get a Weinstein version of that too), Holly wound up convincing me to get a pair of Dockers Slim Fit.

Slim? I've lost weight since college, sure, but I don't think of myself as "slim!" And the pants were, well, snug.

Wearing them at work yesterday I wasn't uncomfortable, per se, but I was always aware of my pants. Aware that they were on me, confining movement a little bit, revealing my gams, constricting my waist. Or in other words, "they fit."

How obscene! You can see the contour of that man's legs!

As I sat there wishing I had just worn my old worn-out khakis that are much too big (and way more comfortable), I couldn't help but wonder: was this pair of pants an act of pregnancy revenge?

After all, I am partially to blame for your Mother's current condition and, therefore, partially responsible for HER pants not fitting.


What a fitting revenge, then, that your Mother be responsible for MY pants not being as roomy as they used to!


Could she be that diabolical? Could I be "forced" to walk in her shoes (or fit in her pants) as the pregnancy goes on? Honestly, I'm already very sympathetic...I don't need to have a watermelon strapped to my stomach to help me in that regard.

Never trust a woman with a hatchet--especially a pregnant woman who doesn't like your pants.

Or maybe, this tight pants conspiracy is all a misunderstanding; after all, I did look GOOD in those pants. (There's the Weinstein modesty...which you will probably be born with!)


PS. I had a plum with my lunch today. It was really bizarre to hold that plum in my hand. A plum is way bigger than you think it is; and way bigger than I thought when I visualized it earlier this week! A 2.1 inch diameter makes for a substantial-sized baby! Weird!

Heart and Soul

Boo! Your Mother and I misunderstood the Doctor last time. There was no photo shoot today- no sonogram, no pictures for the fridge (or blog (or the fridge's blog)). I guess now's as good of a time as any to find out that your Mother and I are not perfect. But, to be honest, it was Holly's fault; I am perfect. The end.

Moving right along, though, today's Doctor's appointment wasn't a complete bust. We got to hear your heart beat loud and clear again. Dr. Hagood jelled up this device that was about the size of an old school Walkman (I'll show you one of those in a museum one day) and put it to your Mom's belly...and out from the speaker came your heart beat:

Woosh woosh woosh woosh.

An antique.

It was really great to hear the old ticker again! It sounded strong. Dr. Hagood said "that's a good sound." Your mother replied, "I like that sound." It was a really cool moment.

Hearing your heart lifted my heart this morning. Yeah, that's the signature Weinstein sappiness, which you should probably get used to.

The device used to hear your heart: a "Doppler".

The device instantaneously counted how many beats per minute your heart was pumping out and the result is (drum roll please) 160 beats per minute.

This is pretty fast for a baby, but definitely within the normal range. But, there's an old wive's tale that says fast heart beat means the baby is a girl; slower heart beat means the baby is a boy. But, this is not scientifically proven. Not even the National Enquirer thinks that's true. So let's just let the theorists and predicters think what they will of these 160 bpm.

Officially, let's still say there's a good chance you will either be a boy or a girl!

Since you probably don't have a built-in metronome (unless the future turned out to be pretty lame), here's what 160 bpm sounds like.

Listen for the ticker...not the piano...



Actually, your heart was beating a bit faster than that! And it sounded really good.

Now if only we could figure out how to get a piano in there...

You know, my Grandfather was a plum(ber)

It's officially Week 12 and that means you are officially the size of a plum! You're about 2.1 inches across now!

I think it's quite fitting how two weeks ago you were the size of a dried plum, and now you are the size of a plum. It's as if you're being slowly rehydrated. Unlike your grandparents, some of whom seem to be slowly being dehydrated!

Week 12 also, apparently, marks a transition from your "critical development" stage to the "growth and maturation" stage. Kind of like the Beatles after their Shea Stadium concert where they had reached a critical mass in popularity and decided to retire from the public spotlight a little to work on songwriting and maturing. Yeah, I know, you're sick of the Beatles already. Well, get over it, kid! Your mother and I love the Beatles!

But, what does this mean for you, all this "stage shifting?"

It means that almost all of your systems are fully formed. This makes it even cooler that you are a plum this week. Your great grandfather Sam was a plumber. You are now a plum...a plum whose plumbing is now all hooked up.

That's kind of an odd toy to be playing with, right?

On a different note, Operation Buy-Your-Mom-Pants-That-Fit was not a success. She did not see any pants she liked. But, on the plus side (or is that 'plus size'), I did succeed in convincing her to buy a few bigger bras. You see, your Mom is gaining a lot of weight in that area because that will be your food source for a while. But, she's not used to those being so in-the-way; and her back has been hurting! So hopefully new undergarments will give her the support she needs..because, sometimes you need a bit more than emotional support.

I couldn't figure out if week 12 marks the last week of the first trimester or the first week of the second trimester. Granted, I didn't do that much research. But, I will ask Dr. Hagood tomorrow. That's right! We're going to see the doctor again tomorrow! But, more importantly, we're going to see YOU again tomorrow!

So smile big and brush your hair (if you have any), because it's time for your third photo op tomorrow! We're so excited and can't wait to see you and hear your heart beat again!

Dream Machine

Things have been pretty quiet on the Pregnancy Front for the past couple of days. Of course, your mother is still having cravings and aversions, still feeling a bit nauseous from time to time (though the nausea is waning), still feeling tired and has acutally been getting headaches semi-frequently.

But don't worry, headaches are a supposed common occurrence during the second trimester...which we are almost officially in. In fact, if my calculations are correct (which they're probably not...I was an English major, after all), then on this coming Sunday we'll be in our last week of the First Trimester!

Then, in the second trimester, the major action comes! The bump will grow, we'll find out your gender, and we might learn more about delivery and breathing and all that junk. But, I will be a little sad to see the first tri-mester go; after all, the first tri-mester is when you were our little secret! It's when you grew from basically nothing all the way up the small-to-mid-size produce section (from a poppy seed all the way to a lime!) It's when you grew from some sort of water-dwelling tadpole-like naked baby hamster-looking creature to be humanoid!

And the first tri-mester is when all of our dreams for you and our life together (and apart, if you ever want to spend the night at a friend's house...as long as that friend isn't a nogoodnick).

With the nausea, though, I seriously doubt your Mom will be as sad to see the First Tri-Mester end.

Speaking of dreams, though, I've been having a couple weird ones lately.

They all involve your mother, pregnant with you, doing extremely dangerous things for a pregnant lady to be doing!

In one dream, she went down the world's most terrifying water slide.

I'm a bit fuzzy on the details of that dream. But the next one was much more vivid. In this one your mother, more pregnant than she acutally is, ascends a long, winding staircase; she climbs higher and higher into the sky.

At this point, I'm growing more and more concerned.

At the top of the stairs it's revealed that she's on the world's tallest diving platform.

Despite my protests and abject concerns, your mother jumps off the diving board and into the pool far, far below.

I even woke up mad at her, but then had to remind myself that our inflatable pool is only 2.5 feet deep and that nobody, pregnant or not, can really be submerged in it, nevermind diving into it.

But don't worry, I'll make sure your Mom doesn't sign up for the USA diving team any time soon.

In the meantime, though, I hope you're ready- because next week (I think) you're over a third-of-the-way toward coming out into the world!

Showin' and Growin'

Well, you continue to grow in your Mom's belly day after day! We can't wait to feel your kicks and hear your heartbeat again. In fact, next Tuesday we're going to see Dr. Hagood again to have your picture taken again! Hopefully we'll be able to see how much you've grown in more detail: non-webbed fingers and toes, misplaced ears, transparent skin, heart pumping blood and all!

In the meantime, though, we must look at you from the outside only. I posted this picture, showing off how much our garden is growing, and your Aunt Rebekka commented, "I think Holly is starting to show!"So, maybe our secret is out of the bag now! Are your eyes drawn to the delicious, fresh green bean or toward the baby bump?

PS. Your first concert was AMAZING! You're now officially poised to be a good Beatles-maniac. You didn't cause your Mom any pain or fussiness during the entire show! I even think I heard you singing along during "Hey Jude!"

Music to your Ears

Yesterday I told you that your Mom's sense of hearing is heightened.

Well, last night, while reading "What to Expect when you're Expecting," I learned something else pretty interesting about ears:

In this, the 11th week of your development, your ears are supposedly fully formed and look just like regular human ears. The book said something about your ears not necessarily being on the right place of your head quite yet, but at least you have ears!

The timing is perfect because tonight, we're going to your first real concert. Sadly, it's your mother's and my first real concert too. Sure, we've been to symphonies, outdoor concerts, washed-up rock star concerts at food festivals and smaller who-are-they? concerts. But tonight is the real deal, and you get to be there in utero!

So, for your first entree into live music, we present: Paul McCartney!

Now, Paul McCartney was 1/4 of a really famous rock group called the Beatles, who were broken up long before your mother or I were born. In fact, John Lennon (another Beatle) was murdered the year we were born. But, the Beatles' music transcends time and eras, and your mother and I are both HUGE Beatles fans.

The Beatles! Paul isn't wearing any shoes...just like you!

We're such huge Beatles fans that we have several names we're considering for you that actually come from Beatles music! So it's pretty fitting that this will be your first concert!

Don't worry-- I did some checking online and you will be perfectly safe inside your Mom's tummy. There's enough cushioning in there that the loud noises and vibrations won't even budge you! But, hopefully you'll be able to hear some beautiful music! And maybe he'll play one of the songs that inspired your potential name!

Afterall, you just got those new ears in (even if they're not in the right location yet). You might as well put them to good use!

Now's as good of a time as any to start playing you some music. There are lots of songs that come on our iTunes that make me think of you and, surprise surprise, a lot of these songs are by the Beatles or their members (post break-up).

Here's one that makes me think of how much fun we're going to have together once you come out!




Here's another one that always makes me think of your beautiful mother, even if she can't stand to be near me for too long because of my scent(yeah, we're still dealing with that).




Hopefully Paul McCartney will play both of these songs tonight-- if he does, it was my plan all along to have him serenade the both of you!

Holy Holly Hearing!

Pregnancy continues to give your Mom super powers: super taste, super smell, super-sensitive vision.

But, now there are another couple of super strengths to add to the list.

SUPER JAWS and HYPER HEARING

Even though she pretends not to hear me on regular basis, your Mom's hearing seems to have been suped up by pregnancy too. And, not that she had a glass jaw before, but man, she might be able to pull a plane with her teeth now!

Last night at around 11:30 pm, your Mom was hungry (surprise, surprise). So, she got herself a bowl of Frosted Flakes. She started chomping down - CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH.

I looked around for a microphone to see why that noise was so loud, but there was no artificial amplification!

I assumed it was her high quality wooden teeth that made such a loud noise; and I stand by that hypothesis. Pregnancy may have given your mother enhanced jaw strength. No Frosted Flakes survived the incident to confirm or deny that claim.

According to your mom, though, Frosted Flakes is just too loud of a cereal. The decibels put out by chomping on one Frosted Flake is simply too loud for those with super human hearing. In fact, the Frosted Flakes were hurting her ears. Something like a "Cheerios" puts out a pleasant and more subdued sound, she explained, but those Flakes create a cacophony of chomping. But Holly's super hunger was able to win that battle, and she ate the whole bowl, while serenading me, Preston and Toby with a symphony of crunch-Crunch-CRUNCH!

So, add two more radioactive superhuman abilities to the list: a bite that would make Washington and his wooden chompers jealous and hyper-sensitive hearing that most would need spy equipment to duplicate.

Now if only I could get her to stop pretending to not hear me when I'm whining! I really have important things to say when I'm whining!

P.S. Remember when I said that the nausea was waning? I totally lied. She's still nauseous a lot. It's definitely less than it was before, but last night she had to hit the Candy hard (before the cereal) to help calm the nausea. I definitely claimed "Mission: Accomplished" far too early on that one. Maybe you shouldn't listen to me either!

Week 11: Lime Time

Wow, we sure are tearing it up on our journey through the produce section.

You are now 11 weeks old and, according to our friends over at the Bump, you are about the size of a lime, or about 1.6 inches long and .25 ounces.

I'm not even going to tempt your Mom with a bag full of limes around the house; she would eat them all. And then bye-bye, enamel.

But, besides your growth from prune to lime, some more really incredible developments have been happening in your Mom's tummy:

1. Added Head Room

No offense, but remember how goofy you looked in your last sonogram because your head was twice the size of your body?

So, the good news is that your body is growing more rapidly now, and instead of a 2:1 ratio from body to head, you now enjoy a 1:1 ratio from body to head! That's right, your head is just as long as your body, at that point. Now, that still looks decidedly goofy, as I will demonstrate below. But the good news is that you're growing in all the right places, and soon you'll be in proportion!

See, those proportions don't really look good on anyone. And don't get me started on the neck-strain!

2. Making First Steps to become a Land-Dweller

Now, I wish we could make the same claim for some of our friends, but you, my child, theoretically no longer have webbed fingers and toes! Granted, this will probably add a minute or two to your 100 Meter Freestyle time, but you're probably gonna spend most of your time on dry land, so webbed fingers and toes aren't really needed anyway.

Plus, having un-webbed digits will greatly increase the selection of gloves you can buy!

Webbed Fingers and toes didn't stop Kermit from being a mean banjo player, though.

3. INVISIBLE BABY



Okay, this probably isn't as cool as it sounds. Sure, you're growing skin as we speak. But right now that skin is, that's right, almost invisible! But, don't get any wise ideas: you're not invisible like Wonder Woman's Jet...and you certainly couldn't strip to your skivvies (which you're currently growing, also) and rob a bank unnoticed.



It seems that having invisible skin isn't really a super-power at this stage.



Your skin is so transparent that your blood vessels are showing right through! Weird!



So, as you can tell, it's an exciting week to be a growing baby! On top of all that, my sources tell me that you're starting to form hair folicles, tooth buds and finger & toe nails!


Keep at it, baby! You're taking giant steps forward-- but don't get a big head about it!

Nap Time

Shhh... your Mom is sleeping! (And it's DAY time!)

I forgot to tell you that one of the other side effects of pregnancy is extreme sleepiness. Your Mom is soporific for a good part of every day! (Put that word in your hat; save it for use on the future SATs) (note to self, buy child a hat).

It seems that growing a child takes a lot of energy!

So, your Mom naps.

She naps in bed, and on the couch and she naps in the car (but that's only when I'm driving).

But she never naps alone. These guys go bonkers if she ever tries to nap without them.

All this napping is a really good thing, though, it keeps your Mommy mostly human! So take good notes, because you will probably be a napper too.

Or, you could be like me, who doesn't nap well, but can't stay awake through a movie that's started after 10pm and just occasionally falls asleep at the keyboard (which makes a lovely pattern like this : llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll).

Sweet dreams!

I'm gonna go prod your Mom with a broomstick to make sure she's still breathing.

Fudging the Diet

When our friends Buck and Jen stayed at our house before they drove to their new home in Seattle about two weeks ago, they had to leave something behind in our freezer. There was no way these could have survived a 4 day drive across the country. But, don't worry, from the second your Mom opened the freezer, she knew that we would find those left-over items a good home.

And she's been devouring Blue Bell Fudge Bars ever since.

In fact, the cravings for these Fudge Bars are so extreme, that, between dinner with friends and hanging out with them at our house, we HAD to stop at the grocery store to buy more Fudge Bars. There was no other option.

Oddly enough, your Mom has developped a serious aversion to the grocery store. Her heightened powers of smell transform the store's aroma (especially back near the deli and butcher sections) into an olfactory deflector shield.

Since I only had been able to have one Fudge Bar, I didn't know exactly which ones to get. Luckily, I recognized the creepy Coach from the box. He seems like just the type of person NOT to be selling confections to children.

Shouldn't he be keeping his eyes on the game?

But, I digress: Fudge Bars are THE most-craved food of the past two weeks. We're about to be on box number Three.

On another note, I think it's safe to say that the "Prune Experiment" from earlier this week was a complete failure. Though I tried to whet her appetite through offering nibbles here and there of my prunes, Holly has probably only eaten one prune in total all week. I, on the other hand, have had half the bag. Which means I'm lucky to have enough "down time" to sit at the computer and write this entry without having to run...if you know what I mean...which you don't, because, quite frankly, you probably don't even DO that yet!

Finally, though, I wanted to let you know that as we approach the end of your 10th week in your Mom's belly, it seems that the nausea is decreasing day by day. In fact, she's not feeling too sick at all! She's not passing out on the couch and drooling all over it, she's not turning green whenever I suggest food choices, and she's no longer seeking elixirs like hot tea, honey on crackers, Jolly Ranchers, Seltzer, or Voodoo chanting to help lift the nausea. Also a good sign, she's been increasingly more giddy, giggling, happy and fiesty; it must feel so good to not constantly feel sick-ish!

But, being in a love affair with Chunky the Coach and his fantastic Fudge Bars is bound to make one feel giddy... I mean, that's a lot of chocolate!

Bumper Art

So, as you can see, because your Mom is so tiny, she's actually starting to show a little bit! Holly can't wait until she's properly showing; at this nebulous "kinda showing" stage she's afraid people will just think that she's been eating too many sweets or partaking in too many brewskies. But soon enough that little belly will be a big baby bump! And since the pants are already not fitting, we think we're in for a big bump! Us Weinsteins are big babies when we're born. Depending on who you ask, they might say that we're big babies when we're adults too. But those people are hardly worth listening to.

Your dog Toby (that's the white one [don't worry, you can learn their names later]) really wanted to be in these pictures too, but I cropped him out, as he didn't really fit in the frame. But here are his cameos:
It'll be really fun to spot him when there are like 50 pictures that he's darting in and out of. Well, maybe your definition of "fun" isn't the same as mine; but you'll understand when you get older that fun has to be had in small doses.

Speaking of your dogs, though, I think it's time we tell them that you're on the way. They might not react too well, they're not to used to sharing your Mom. Me they could probably do without.

On a side note, with each passing day the nausea seems a little less and less severe; we're almost to the point where your mother is enjoying life again! But the cravings continue...whenever I hear a little "crinkle crinkle crinkle" coming from the kitchen late at night, I know that it's your Mom hitting those Rice Krispies one more time before bed.

We may wind up having to name you "Snap," "Crackle" or "Pop." Well, "Pop" is taken already (my dad is your "Pops" (see picture)). But "Crackle" is pretty nice!

Jean Genie

We all knew this was going to happen. It's supposed to happen. But this weekend, we're gonna go shopping for some new pants for Holly.

Her pants don't fit her anymore!

As much as I know she's been enjoying the forced-casual look (ahem...leaving pants unbuttoned under her body band), when I saw her struggling to get in to her britches this morning I said, "Why don't we just go buy you some bigger pants?"

This line of questioning was met with great support from Holly, her belly and, of course, her pants.

Holly in her favorite jeans atop my shoulders. Please note, my face doesn't usually look like that. Please also note that we will not be assuming this formation for approximately 7 months.

On a separate note, the prune test from yesterday was a failure. I ate three prunes right in front of your Mom, but she wanted nothing of it.

Her eating habits appear to have nothing to do with the weekly fruit that you are comprarable in size to. Example: yesterday she ate both almonds (you in week 8) AND mango (you in week 19). So I think we have nothing to fear on that front!

But, I must say, prunes are pretty big. Dramatically larger than a green olive. You've grown a lot in the past week! It was very weird to hold a prune and think that you are actually that size right now in your Mom's belly.

I put my hand on her tummy every night; she is really starting to grow! Your mother, of course, was worried that it was "all fat." But that tummy's tight-- that's you growing in there. Prune and onward!

Don't worry, by the time you're the size of a lime, we'll have your Mom in some better britches!

Prune...I mean Dried Plum!

That's a prune. But the powers-that-be decided that prune wasn't marketable. So they renamed it a "dried plum" (which it is)...but we don't call raisins "dried grapes," do we? But, I digress.


That's a prune. And so are you! That's how big you are this week, now that you're 10 weeks old! Hopefully you're not as wrinkly, but I'm not making any promises.


Now, call me sneaky, but after last week's "you're-the-size-of-a-green-olive-and-your-mother-ate-a-jar-of-green-olives" issue, I've laid out quite the experiment to test a theory. You're the size of a prune, and your mother is hungry. So, I bought us a big bag of prunes.


We shall see if she feels compelled to binge eat whatever fruit/veggie you are comparable in size to week after week.


As of today, Tuesday, the prune bag remains unopened. But, perhaps this evening I'll taste one and see how she responds.


I'm only looking out for your welfare in doing this. We need to know early on, while you're still a snack-sized fruit, if, in week 37, your mother is going to feel the urge to binge eat 23 Watermelon. That won't be good for any of us.


Sure, it looks harmless now; but this could get dangerous.


P.S. The Bump has this to say about your development: "With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)"

That's awesome! Your arm joints are functioning! That means we could probably have our first official High Five!

Now Showing!

Today is picture day! "What's picture day," you might ask? Well, your Mom and I are going to document your growth by taking a picture once a week of your Mom's belly. When we're all done, we're gonna make a time lapse movie of it and put sappy music behind it! It'll be really cool, and we'll probably show it at key points during your life to embarrass you: Graduation, Wedding, First Date, Every subsequent date. Don't worry; we do it because we love you!

But, looking at your Mom without even the side-by-side pictures, it's easy to see that she's already showing!

Now, I really thought this was a "food baby" (or distended bowel, if you want to get technical...and gross); but apparently, as I'm told, this visual change in your Mom's physique is NOT, I repeat, NOT a food baby! It's actually you! It's a legitimate BABY BUMP!

You're growing so much! And that makes sense, because on Sunday, you'll be 10 weeks along!

Everyone's so excited you're coming to live with us, by the way. The Grandmas and Grandpas are ecstatic, and so are all your Aunts and Uncles!

Some of your cousins don't quite know what to make of this development, though, as Uncle Aaron and Aunt Holly will have to be shared now!

Your cousin Kathryn seems the most confused: she told Holly, "that boy has a baby in his belly!" So, not only did she think I was the one who was pregnant, but she also seemed to have misplaced my identity. Perhaps I was just some stranger who let myself in to the room. But, we quickly reminded her that I am "Unkie A" (although she calls me "Aaron"). But you, you can call me "Dad!" (Or whatever you want...as long as it's G-rated)

P.S. Your Mom's battle with food has continued. We went to Japanese food, and your Mom ordered Beef Teriyaki, which is basically a steak (I don't know why I'm explaining that, because as of now, you don't really like to eat anything except for amniotic fluid or something). But, I digress, she could only take one bite of it, and then couldn't touch the rest. Needless to say, my lunch the next day was awesome. I mean, who eats steak for lunch!? But, on a sadder note, the aversion to my odor continues. Even though I wear a car-freshener around my neck.

Green Olives...Part II

Earlier this week we were talking about how you are just the size of a green olive. The idea must have really struck a chord with your mother! No don't get all freaked out, because there are no cannibalistic tendencies in our family, but your mother ate an entire jar of sliced green olives.

I'm not even kidding.

An entire jar. Of Green Olives.

Her only response: "I didn't mean to!"

It's almost as bad as the time I came home and she had eaten a can of corn for dinner. Out of the can. (don't believe her when she tells you that she put it in a bowl...she ate it just like a hobo...using the lid as a corn shovel).

Well, we were just glad that she was able to eat something! Her eating habits sure are quirky now.

Also, we took your first trip to the library. Your gonna love this place. It's got computers and movies! Oh yeah, and books. We checked out a couple baby name books to get inspiration for your name. We have several good contenders for baby girl names that we both like; but we're a bit more stuck on boy names. Don't worry, Herbert is already taken, and Gilbert is too close to my middle name- so you're safe on those two fronts.

But, you probably won't feel safe at all until you're larger than a green olive!

Consensus: Senses are Senseless

Besides her sense of taste being all out of whack, your Mom's other senses are giving her fits too.

Her Eyes deceive her.

+ Yesterday she couldn't come water the garden with me, because the visual of running water flowing out of the hose made her nauseous.

+For his birthday we bought BJ "The Watchmen" (you can see it when you're 15; I will force you to read the comic book first though). But your Mom couldn't even look at the gift. The lenticular cover on the DVD gave her motion sickness!

The biggest clue that her eyes are messed up:

+ Your mother said I looked cute the other day.

The Olfactory seems to be working at full steam.

The old sniffer has been in high gear for a couple of weeks now:

+ Note: Don't cook salmon for yourself with a pregnant woman in the house. EVER. Don't ask.

+ We couldn't walk by the old boat house down at White Rock Lake because it "smelled like old fish." For the record, I was at maximum smell capability, and I didn't smell a thing!

+ Our dogs (well, I guess they're your dogs too, now!), Preston and Toby, have a certain aroma (when they're clean, not dirty) that your Mom absolutely loves. "Their feet smell like Cheetos," your Mom used to say. But, their smell is now too overpowering for Holly's nose!

And, the lastest victim of your mother's nose:

+ ME! My smell (my signature scent) is too much-- it's overwhelming her! Now we're not talking about post-lawn-mowing or bike-riding sweaty stink or even Tex-Mex induced airborne events. We're just talking my regular smell...my musk. So, I've been rendered into some sort of Rogue-type character...I can't get too close to the one I love because my mutant ability can do incredible harm.

But, at least I'm cute! (according to a very reliable source)

On a side note, I've also been instructed to take my constitutionals elsewhere...not in the master bathroom. At least I'm still allowed to do it indoors! It's too hot outside for that kind of nonsense.

p.s. Cravings update: Last night your Mom needed Breathe Right strips to...well...breathe. This is an unrelated symptom to pregnancy...probably allergies (hopefully to ragweed or cottonwood...not Aaron). But, while at the store, I got your Mom some stuff she was craving: Wintergreen Gum, Peaches and Shockers (but, alas, they were out of Shockers).

Green Olive!

You're 9 weeks and 2 days old now! We're still keeping you a little bit of a secret, but a lot of people know about you now! They are so excited and can't wait to see you grow. As of now, you are officially a fetus (as opposed to an embryo) and the size of a green olive, or so says "the bump."
Speaking of bumps, it sometimes looks like your Mom is showing, but then other days she doesn't appear to have a bump at all. Well, I did some reading in "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and answered that question. Even though your Mom is really petite, you're just the size of a green olive! Soon enough you'll be showing, but most of the visible bump now is actually a distended bowel (gross, right?)! That basically means she's full; she's full and it ain't going anywhere. Kind of like what happens when you eat too much Matzah.


Good news though, your Mom is feeling way better. Last night she said the nausea was almost gone...but the food aversions and cravings are still rocking the menu selections at Casa de Weinstein.


The tortilla soup was not at all appetizing to Holly. Instead she had a nectarine and two bowls of Rice Krispies.


oh, PS, we're having a fun time refining baby name lists. Via email today, Holly officially icks-nayed "Harrison," "Garrison," (which I didn't like anyway) and "Lennon, " if you're a boy. To be honest, I didn't really like 2/3 of those names either. Sometimes I just suggest names to her to test the limits...something you'll probably learn all about soon enough.