The Honeydew Period

Feel like you've been squashed for far too long? No, I'm not talking about the rapidly dwindling amount of space you have in your Mom's tummy-- though, I bet that's really squashed quarters. I'm talking about your fruit/veg comparison continuum. After spending 4 weeks on the scales as a "squash," you've now officially been upgraded:

You're now the size of a Honeydew Melon (you know, cantaloupe's amazing, green cousin)! (remind me to tell you a HILARIOUS joke when you come out about why the honeydew told the watermelon they couldn't run away to get married).

What's even more amazing, is that after a honeydew holding pattern for a few weeks, you've only got one more fruit on the list: Watermelon. Clearly these last few weeks are all melon, but that doesn't make us melancholy in any way. Granted, your Mom is struggling a bit in her landings and takeoffs from couches, beds and the floor, and her back pain is getting especially ripe, but she's just ecstatic to have a little honeydew-sized honey growing in her belly! And, in my opinion, she looks absolutely beautiful carrying you, despite the presence of 2/3 of a fruit salad in her tummy.

When we got married, someone told me that I would forever be subject to "honeydew lists;" clearly, this refers to you in this 8th month of pregnancy in some Nostradamus way. Actually, no it doesn't, but it's quite poetic, no? The honeydew list in question is, in fact, a reference to some stereotypical nagging wife forcing her bedraggled husband to do multiple chores: "Honey, Do this!" "Honey, do that!" Well, your Mother's and my relationship doesn't really work like that, as you'll soon know. Sure, we have to-do lists that we both freely populate and depopulate, but there's hardly any nagging. Unless the item on the list is something that I don't really want to do at all, in which case, some nagging or pouting may be necessary to get my butt in gear.

But, at any rate, this weekend - to celebrate your arrival as a honeydew- your Mom and I crossed another item off of our pregnancy honeydew lists. And this was one item that we've both been looking forward to, as it stretched our creative muscles!

A lot of people get professional pictures taken when they're pregnant (these are called maternity pictures). Your Mom thought that I could do a good enough job taking these pictures and -that way- we could have a really cool, personal experience taking them and save a little extra cash to get professional studio pictures taken when you are born!

So, we hung up some sheets, cleaned ourselves up and turned your nursery into a photography studio! I don't consider myself an awesome photographer at all. But, I have an awesome camera (thanks to Cousin Steve and Ruthy!), and your Mom is awesome at Photoshop, and that seemed to do the trick!

These pictures really just confirm three things for me: 1) your Mom truly makes a beautiful pregnant lady; 3) You're a good looking bump, and have been all the way from the beginning of lime to this, our honeydew period; 3) your Mom takes better photographs than she gives haircuts (note to self- pay for haircuts).

Attempting some Jedi Mind Tricks

Elegant Honeydew!

My Honey and our Honeydew

Take amazing pictures?

Honey done!

Even though you're no longer a squash, and you're definitely getting more and more squashed with each passing day, you make a peach of a honeydew!

All Hands on Deck: Pre-Thanksgiving Edition

We've made it to week 25, and you've finally graduated from papaya to the next produce item on the list. That's right, buddy, in perfect time for Thanksgiving, you're, no, not a turkey, but an eggplant! (Mimi makes the best Eggplant dish on Thanksgiving...so, it's not a total non-sequitor)

That doesn't mean you're a purple, moslty mushy food that hardly anybody likes; It takes a LOT of effort to get as mushy as an eggplant. What this does mean, though, is that you're growing- probably about 1.5 pounds and 13.6 inches long from head to toe.

But we don't need to play guessing games to know you're there or that you've grown. We can see AND feel that just by watching and touching your Mom's belly.

Over the weekend you were kicking for what seemed like 10 minutes at a time and we both just watched and felt in amazement. In fact, you seem to react a lot to music too! Your Mom and I were playing Beatles Rock Band and at this one point with a lot of bass your Mom saw you dancing along. But more on that later.

We can't help but smile every time we feel you kicking. This show was too good to keep to ourselves, so we had to take it on the road.

At a Pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving feast at the home of our friends BJ and Kari, we were all just sitting around talking after the meal. I went over and put my hand on your belly to feel you kicking and then your Mom grabbed Michelle's hand to let her feel too. She felt you kick and, also, couldn't help but smile and laugh! Michelle said she could almost even feel a little foot kicking her hand!

Next thing we knew, everyone wanted to feel you kick and squirm and move, and you didn't disappoint your future "Uncles" and "Aunts" and friends: they all got to feel you kick, and all reacted differently. Uncle Jeremy didn't even realize it when he felt you kick- he thought it was just a muscle spasm!

But everyone overall loved "meeting you"-- and they, like me and your mother, can't wait to meet you for real.

Feeling you kick definitely makes your arrival seem more real...but it still seems so unknown, so far off and altogether UNreal. That is to say, we still can't fathom what it will be like when you're here, nonetheless, we still can't wait for it!

To feel you kicking and hold your feet and see your eyes for real will be beyond words; but for now, feeling and seeing you kick against your Mom's belly is incredible enough and, on this week of good food and family, seeing you kick, feeling you move, watching you grow and knowing you're in there definitely and being able to share that with everyone gives me something to be Thankful for.

And THAT's how you get as mushy as an eggplant!

Belly Science Experiments

Yesterday we ran the belly through a battery of standard scientific tests to check on the progress of the pregnancy. Please note, none of these tests were approved by a "medical" "doctor"

Test 1. Turkey Thermometer:

Belly Button Watch 2009: Day 3 Breaking News:

The belly button still looks like this:

(

That's right, it's still an inny!

Test 2. The Dark side of the Moon

The belly is growing by leaps and bounds! Your mom definitely can't see the underside of her tummy anymore. We tested this yesterday. And it's true. Let's just say that, somehow, your Mom managed to get some paint south of her belly button, on the underside of the tummy. I pointed it out to her and we had to set up an elaborate system of mirrors and smoke (for some reason) so she could see it. Who knows how long that paint had been there! There could be a paper clip or pencil or Russian army hidden under there, and she'd have no clue! It's a definite blind spot. Very hazardous for any man, woman or child (except for you) that may be hidden there.

Test 3. The Bounce House

We also performed a bounce test, to determine if the bump is, in fact, a "belly full of jelly" or a growing stone (which will gather no moss). To scienfically test this, we had your Mom do a gentle hop.

The belly seemed immune to the effects of inertia, force and most of Newton's Laws (though gravity may be kicking in soon enough). That is to say, the result showed NO JIGGLE.

That bump is more bump than belly. It's a solid protuberance of baby, and all baby!

Test 4: On the Road Again

Apparently the city of Dallas has decided that it's awesome to replace a whole lane of the major street near our house with an off-road style course consisting of gaping pot holes and gigantic chunks of concrete every where!

This makes for a bumpy road for anyone; but more specifically, this made for a bumpy road for you, the bump.

But you passed that test by doing what any sane person would do: kicking the person in front of you, rolling around and writing a letter to your local State Senator. A Strongly worded letter.

So, here is the summary of results of the baby belly tests:

1. Belly Button is still an Inny.
2. Don't get in the blind spot.
3. That's a solid baby bump, there.

4. Bumpy Roads Disturb the Bump.

As a reward for undergoing the belly tests, we rewarded both Baby and Mama with frozen yogurt and some left over anniversary cake (did I tell you that it was our 3rd wedding anniversary on Wednesday? No? Well, we celebrated in the normal Weinstein fashion: eating. I got two mini cakes from the same bakery that made our wedding cakes.... and your Momma and I devoured them). Then, as an extra reward, your Mom read some of "Lafcadio" out loud to you, so you could hear her voice.

Trust me, you hear mine enough.

I told you scientific experimentation would have its rewards! Oh, I didn't? Well, I meant to!

Wonders and Blunders

Every time I see your Mom after work now I'm genuinely surprised: She looks SO pregnant! It just makes me so happy...but it's also so bizarre. You definitely are real, but you don't seem quite real yet. Some might call that disbelief, others might call that "you have no idea what you're getting yourself into, buddy." Whatever you want to call it, though, I constantly have to keep pinching myself to remind me that you're actually really coming. There's no cooler reminder of that than seeing your mother, with her burgeoning belly, come home from work every night.

Well, maybe there is a cooler reminder:

Yesterday after dinner, I was about to fall asleep on the chair and a half when your Mother called my name: "Aaron!" I thought I was in trouble because, as you'll figure out one day, wives and husbands don't really use each other's names that often...unless the other is in trouble. The equivalent will be your First + Middle names. You know when we say your first and middle name that you are most likely in deep doodoo.

Anyway, I snapped up, ready to defend my actions (I didn't MEAN to do it), and I saw your Mom smiling with her hands on her belly.

"Come here! He's kicking. I can feel it with my hands!"

I fell out of the chair and scrambled across the floor to your Mother's side, and I slipped my hands under hers.

I shut my eyes, held my breath and then....BUMP!

You kicked me (and it was a BIG one, according to your Mom)! Holly and I waited there, hands on her belly, for a few more minutes feeling the gentle popping (almost like a muscle spasm) of you turnining and stretching and apparently playing Dance Dance Revolution. It was almost like staring at the sky, waiting for a shooting star to pass by. And finally, we felt you, a little bit more gently, kick again.

Eventually, all this hand-pressing-on-the-belly took its toll on your Mom's bladder and we had to call it quits or we would have needed a new couch.

Pregnancy is like that, though: For each awe-inspiring, amazing reminder (like seeing your Mom's bump seemingly grow day to day or feeling you kick), there are equally omnipresent and way funnier daily reminders too.

Last night we were eating dinner at the coffee table. I was doing my normal chow-down and then I looked over at your Mom. She was struggling to eat her dinner-- not because she was full, but because she couldn't lean over the table the way she used to.

"My belly makes eating at this table so hard!" she said.

And it was true: her belly restricted her from getting as close to the table as she could, leaving a big gap between her plate and her mouth. And filling that gap, ever hopeful, were your dogs, Preston and Toby, hoping that a morsal would slip through the gap.

We both just had to laugh. By the end of this, we'll probably need a new coffee table! (and Preston and Toby may finally get that freebie they've been hoping for).

Despite all the wonder and comedy that pregnancy provides, it's still so hard for us both to hold on to the fact that you'll be here in March! And we'll be parents! (Although, I'm sure it's a little harder for Holly to 'forget'). Me, on the other hand, I get to experience these wonders and blunders as a third party. But you know what, third party is still a party- and I'm enjoying every surprise, every new view of the belly, every stomach obstacle and every minute of it (except for maybe the barfing on the airplane).

Wife Cold

As of today you are 17 weeks and 3 days old! That means you are now at least the size of an onion! It's fitting that your week as an onion should have begun with such stinky circumstances, since, well, onions stink.

This weekend, your Mother got a cold, and that stunk for everyone (almost as much as a giant onion).

On Friday afternoon she wasn't looking too good and by Friday night she took a turn for the worse.

Despite drinking lots of tea and put Mentholatum on her feet, your Mom woke up Saturday morning (actually, it was closer to afternoon) with a full blown cold:

Drainage, Sore Throat, Achy Ears, M's turning into B's (you know like saying "Bobby" instead of "Mommy"), Exhausted, Miserable, Stuffed Up Nose, Headache and a wonderful Cough!

The only problem is, when you're pregnant you can't take the same medicines you'd usually use to kick a cold's butt. After a call to the doctor, we started your Mom on a healthy diet of Mucinex and Acetemeniphen. (NO Ibuprofen for preggo-ladies!)

But, medicine alone can't cure a cold. So, your Dad played nurse all day Saturday and took a wholistic approach to making your Mom feel better.

By the end of Sunday afternoon, you and your Mom had:

• spent over 36 uniterrupted hours indoors


• eaten approximately 64 ounces of Egg Drop soup


• drank 3 bottles of Gatorade (blue, yellow and orange!)


• used 80 tissues (an entire box)


• drank 7 cups of decaffeinated tea and four cups of warm apple juice


• Used at least 3 Breath-right strips


• Put 10 olive-oil soaked cotton balls in her ears (backwoods medicine)


• Breathed in 3 full containers of Humidified Air Water

I also have to tell you that you suffered a significant exposure to a film genre called "Chick Flicks" on Saturday.

Back-to-Back-to-Back, your Mom watched her favorite movies, and you had a front-row seat some of the best make-Holly-feel-better movies out there:

"Ever After," "The Princess Bride" and "Shakespeare in Love"

Your First Chick Flick Marathon. Hopefully your last? (Note: I approve of most of these movies for repeated viewing...just not one that rhymes with "shmever shmafter")

The good news is that in a genre that contains some of the worst movies of all time, you managed to have a mother who likes some of the best of them. That is to say, I mostly approve of the movies you watched, despite them definitely being "Chick Flicks." But Drew Barrymore still kind of talks funny (you'll see what I mean).

But, the good news is that you and your Mother survived! By Sunday morning your Mom was feeling markedly better. See, all that medicine and loving care and MSG worked! Either that or it was a 48-hour bug and our actions had no effect, and you suffered through 7 hours of Chick flick for nothing.

Even though our weekend was ostensibly stinky as an onion, your Mom and you and I did get to spend a lot of time together and talk about you and your nursery and your name and registering for all the things you'll need. So, all in all, despite the living room turning into a makeshift sick ward, it wound up being a pretty nice weekend: unless you were once a tree that was turned into tissues. In that case, this weekend blew.

Orange You Glad I went to the Airport?

You are officially well into your 15th week inside your Mom's belly. The fruit equivalent of your size, on average, is a naval orange! The site says that on average a baby at your age will be 4 inches in length...although you were 4 inches from rump to crown about two weeks ago!

But still, an orange is a pretty big piece of produce! You are continuing to grow in your Mom's tummy and nearing normal proportions. This week your legs should finally be longer than your arms. No wonder in the video you were so easily touching your toes! Your arms were longer than your legs. But not any more!

On a good note, though, Oranges are very good for you. And you've been very good to your Mother! The post-plane nausea has all-but disappeared, and she's gotten her appetite back; although she's now mostly hungry for Egg Drop soup and egg rolls.

The site also says you should be very busy in there, wiggling and squirming around, though your Mommy can't feel it quite yet. But she's looking more and more pregnant each day! Check this one out from our trip to Maine:

Someone else has been moving around like crazy this week too: me! But I wasn't in anyone's belly...I was in a plane. But at the airport in Chicago yesterday afternoon, waiting to come home you and your Mom, I saw stars from one of your Mom's most favorite television shows: "Myth Busters."

I went up to the stars, Tory, Grant and Kari, and got their autographs, a picture and chatted with them.

I even asked them for advice on baby names, since your Mom and I seem to have writer's block on baby boy names!

Now Kari, who apparently just had a baby girl 10 months ago, said she couldn't give me her best boy names, in case she had a boy next. Then she offered "a boy named Sue" (which is a Johnny Cash song and also completely not an option for your name).

After some moments of thinking, Kari and Tory both offered up the name "Buster."

"Buster" is their show's famous crash-test dummy who gets stabbed, beaten up, drowned, exploded and abused in every episode.

The bruised and battered "Buster."

I also pointed out that "Buster" from "Arrested Development" doesn't fare to well either (See below).

But, Tory added that "Buster Keaton" did quite well with that name. And, hey, the name "Keaton" isn't too bad... but it's not an option either!

So, needless to say, the Mythbusters, who can solve nearly every conundrum thrown at them, couldn't do anything to help bypass this baby naming boondoggle! Well, except maybe they contributed two names that are definitely off the list (and weren't on the list to begin with!)

But don't worry; your Mom and I will have a great name picked out for you by the time you are ready to come out into the world!

Big Baby

So, here we are at week 14. You missed this week's you-to-fruit comparison, didn't you? Well, fret not. In week 14, you are approximately the size of a Lemon!

How cool is that? You know, your Mom LOVES lemons! She ate so many of them when she was a kid that she wore down the enamel on her teeth and, consequently, they didn't glow in black lights. But, that's all been fixed now. Yay for modern dentistry!

Some cool things in your development this week:

• You are "making urine"- that sounds just like your dear old Dad. I make urine quite frequently.
  
• You are breathing amniotic fluid. Okay, so that sounds a bit amphibious. But, eventually you'll breathe good old air.
  
• Your liver, kidneys and spleen are developing like crazy! You'll need all of those, fer sure!

And, this one's pretty cool. You are growing thin, downy, feathery hair all over your body for warmth. I know you may be worried that you'll look like me after I got my head shaved or Uncle Jeremy or some kind of Wookie, but don't worry.

This hair growth, called Lanugo, is only gonna stick around while you're in the womb. It's cold in there, apparently! They have some high tech images of what this Lanugo looks like:

See, you look more like Mark Twain than a Wookie. But, you're definitely in a part-mammal, part-amphibian stage in your life. Which means you could, theortically, star in Waterworld 2. (Don't worry, these jokes will be hilarious later in life).

But, the most interesting thing, to me, is that, apparently, you're above average already! The Bump says that at week 14, on average, the baby is 3.4 inches long.

A week ago yesterday, you clocked in at 4.o inches long, from rump to head! That makes you significantly larger than the average-sized baby! Almost 1/3 bigger than the average!

This revelation was greeted with a humorous exhange between your mother and I (very intelligently debating the difference in our respective sizes):

Aaron: "Our baby is way longer than the average length. The Bump says that at week 14, on average, the baby is 3.4 inches long. But our baby measured 4 inches long. LAST WEEK!"

Holly: "Really?"

Aaron: "Yeah, look at me!"

Holly: "Are we gonna have a big baby?"

Aaron: "Yeah, look at me!"

Holly: "Yeah, but look at me!"

Aaron: "So, look at me!"

Holly: "Yeah, but look at me!"

This went on ad nauseum until our batteries wore out. We haven't gotten any stats on percentiles or anything like that, yet. But, if this lemon information is any good, you might be a big baby!

Whether you'll be big or not, I still can't get over how much you've grown from the first time we saw you! You're a little person in there now; at first glance you were just a smudge with a heartbeat!

Week 11: Lime Time

Wow, we sure are tearing it up on our journey through the produce section.

You are now 11 weeks old and, according to our friends over at the Bump, you are about the size of a lime, or about 1.6 inches long and .25 ounces.

I'm not even going to tempt your Mom with a bag full of limes around the house; she would eat them all. And then bye-bye, enamel.

But, besides your growth from prune to lime, some more really incredible developments have been happening in your Mom's tummy:

1. Added Head Room

No offense, but remember how goofy you looked in your last sonogram because your head was twice the size of your body?

So, the good news is that your body is growing more rapidly now, and instead of a 2:1 ratio from body to head, you now enjoy a 1:1 ratio from body to head! That's right, your head is just as long as your body, at that point. Now, that still looks decidedly goofy, as I will demonstrate below. But the good news is that you're growing in all the right places, and soon you'll be in proportion!

See, those proportions don't really look good on anyone. And don't get me started on the neck-strain!

2. Making First Steps to become a Land-Dweller

Now, I wish we could make the same claim for some of our friends, but you, my child, theoretically no longer have webbed fingers and toes! Granted, this will probably add a minute or two to your 100 Meter Freestyle time, but you're probably gonna spend most of your time on dry land, so webbed fingers and toes aren't really needed anyway.

Plus, having un-webbed digits will greatly increase the selection of gloves you can buy!

Webbed Fingers and toes didn't stop Kermit from being a mean banjo player, though.

3. INVISIBLE BABY



Okay, this probably isn't as cool as it sounds. Sure, you're growing skin as we speak. But right now that skin is, that's right, almost invisible! But, don't get any wise ideas: you're not invisible like Wonder Woman's Jet...and you certainly couldn't strip to your skivvies (which you're currently growing, also) and rob a bank unnoticed.



It seems that having invisible skin isn't really a super-power at this stage.



Your skin is so transparent that your blood vessels are showing right through! Weird!



So, as you can tell, it's an exciting week to be a growing baby! On top of all that, my sources tell me that you're starting to form hair folicles, tooth buds and finger & toe nails!


Keep at it, baby! You're taking giant steps forward-- but don't get a big head about it!

Prune...I mean Dried Plum!

That's a prune. But the powers-that-be decided that prune wasn't marketable. So they renamed it a "dried plum" (which it is)...but we don't call raisins "dried grapes," do we? But, I digress.


That's a prune. And so are you! That's how big you are this week, now that you're 10 weeks old! Hopefully you're not as wrinkly, but I'm not making any promises.


Now, call me sneaky, but after last week's "you're-the-size-of-a-green-olive-and-your-mother-ate-a-jar-of-green-olives" issue, I've laid out quite the experiment to test a theory. You're the size of a prune, and your mother is hungry. So, I bought us a big bag of prunes.


We shall see if she feels compelled to binge eat whatever fruit/veggie you are comparable in size to week after week.


As of today, Tuesday, the prune bag remains unopened. But, perhaps this evening I'll taste one and see how she responds.


I'm only looking out for your welfare in doing this. We need to know early on, while you're still a snack-sized fruit, if, in week 37, your mother is going to feel the urge to binge eat 23 Watermelon. That won't be good for any of us.


Sure, it looks harmless now; but this could get dangerous.


P.S. The Bump has this to say about your development: "With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)"

That's awesome! Your arm joints are functioning! That means we could probably have our first official High Five!

Green Olive!

You're 9 weeks and 2 days old now! We're still keeping you a little bit of a secret, but a lot of people know about you now! They are so excited and can't wait to see you grow. As of now, you are officially a fetus (as opposed to an embryo) and the size of a green olive, or so says "the bump."
Speaking of bumps, it sometimes looks like your Mom is showing, but then other days she doesn't appear to have a bump at all. Well, I did some reading in "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and answered that question. Even though your Mom is really petite, you're just the size of a green olive! Soon enough you'll be showing, but most of the visible bump now is actually a distended bowel (gross, right?)! That basically means she's full; she's full and it ain't going anywhere. Kind of like what happens when you eat too much Matzah.


Good news though, your Mom is feeling way better. Last night she said the nausea was almost gone...but the food aversions and cravings are still rocking the menu selections at Casa de Weinstein.


The tortilla soup was not at all appetizing to Holly. Instead she had a nectarine and two bowls of Rice Krispies.


oh, PS, we're having a fun time refining baby name lists. Via email today, Holly officially icks-nayed "Harrison," "Garrison," (which I didn't like anyway) and "Lennon, " if you're a boy. To be honest, I didn't really like 2/3 of those names either. Sometimes I just suggest names to her to test the limits...something you'll probably learn all about soon enough.

Your Second Photo Shoot

Today your mom and I went to see Dr. Hagood again and you had your second check-up. Everything about you is perfect, said the doctor. Your heartbeat has increased its speed and sounds like a beating drum. You've also grown a lot too! You're now the size of a raspberry, and about 8.5 weeks old. Check out these pictures! You're really doing some grade-a growing in there!

You kind of look like a Gummy Bear right now- you have little arm and leg buds beginning to develop. See?

Look how little you are! But you're really starting to move a lot too; the doctor saw you turning!

Your Mom is feeling a little better, but she still is pretty nauseous and eating like crazy! She is now eating a bowl of cereal every night before she goes to bed! (But nothing good...usually Rice Krispies or Cheerios with raisins added in).