Stuffed...

It's now week 26....Under 100 days left until you arrive! And your Mommy and I are continuing to grow more and more excited...and your Mommy is continuing to grow and grow.

We're safely in the middle of the 6th month now, and I just read that the 6th month is the time of greatest growth for your Mommy's belly.

And that couldn't have come at a better time of year. Your Mom and I both LOVE Thanksgiving, not only for the family, but mostly for the food said family makes!



We had the pleasure of having Thanksgiving dinner once with our friends...

...once again with your Mom's side of the family in Sulphur Springs (at your Great Grandma's house)..

... and Twice with the Weinstein side in Houston at your Uncle Taff and Aunt April's house.

Now, I must admit, it's hard to not get stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving...and I certainly had my fill.

But, with all the Turkey, cranberry sauce, hot rolls, sweet potato souffle (made from sweet potatoes in our garden!), stuffing, olive salad, deviled eggs, pumpking pie, coconut cream pie and pumpkin rolls (made by your Mom, herself), your Mom and I both agree that Thanksgiving dinner(s) was major fuel for you to grow--

Subsequently, your Momma's belly definitely had a growth spurt this weekend!


I don't think the people who wrote these pregnancy books banked on the 3rd week of the 6th month landing on Thanksgiving. Instead of it being the month of your Mom's biggest belly growth, it may just have been the biggest growth of the pregnancy in one week!

Or maybe we were just both stuffed!

If you Can't Stand the Heat...

You know that old saying. Oh wait, you don't? Because people aren't born with knowledge of colloquialisms? Okay. Well, the old saying goes "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

Well, look who's still in the kitchen:

Look, winter is fast approaching, and I'm starting to get cold. Sometimes I need to turn the heat on in the house or the car, but your Mother protests.

Why does she protest? Because her hormones have thrown her entire body's thermometer out of whack and at any given moment, especially the given moments when I'm freezing cold, she feels like she is on the surface of the sun.

Now, it's not just my word against hers as far as the temperature is concerned. At work, when everyone is freezing, your Mom is, again, burning up.

One could get pretty comfortable calling your Mom the "Human Torch," and attributing this newofound warmth to some sort of pregnancy super power.

But, as luck would have it, when it's actually warm, your Mom is freezing- which just goes to show you that this whole pregnancy hormone thing makes absolutely no sense at all. Her body is a glitching. If it were a PC, I would hit CTRL+ALT+Del and reboot the system.

But no such luck. Instead of that, I get to endure such fun things as:

+ Waking up in the middle of the night burning up because SOMEONE has pushed all of their covers on top of me, so I'm, in effect, sleeping under two sheets and two comforters.

+ Turn off the heat in the house or car when my fingers are blue.

+ Walk around with my nose running because it must be kept at the temperature of a meat locker in our home.

Now, it's not all bad, though. One cold morning, driving to a Doctor's Appointment, I was really cold. So I did my norm, and cranked the heat all the way to the end of the dial.

About 3 minutes later, your Mom exclaimed: "What are you trying to do? Smoke me out?" And she turned the heat back down to a compromise level of tepid warmth.

But my hands were still cold.

So, we used her super powered heat hands and my mere mortal susceptability to the elements to solve our mutual problems. By clasping hands, her warm mits heated my frozen fingers. In return my frigid digits cooled her hot hands.

The only problem was that no one was holding the steering wheel. So maybe that wasn't a good idea.

This trick also works for cold hands giving soothing hot foot rubs and hot hands warming a cold headachy noggin. This trick does no favors in cold hands touching the belly though. I have to wear mittens or rub my hands together to warm them up before I can do that!

As winter comes and Dallas gets colder and colder, though, I know your Mom is going to be a hot commodity, literally. We can keep warm together; and maybe I'll be able to roast a few marshmallows over her head.

So even though your Mom can't stand the heat, and I can't stand the cold, we're both staying in the proverbial kitchen because, well, to continue the cooking metaphor, we've got a bun in the oven!

All Hands on Deck: Pre-Thanksgiving Edition

We've made it to week 25, and you've finally graduated from papaya to the next produce item on the list. That's right, buddy, in perfect time for Thanksgiving, you're, no, not a turkey, but an eggplant! (Mimi makes the best Eggplant dish on Thanksgiving...so, it's not a total non-sequitor)

That doesn't mean you're a purple, moslty mushy food that hardly anybody likes; It takes a LOT of effort to get as mushy as an eggplant. What this does mean, though, is that you're growing- probably about 1.5 pounds and 13.6 inches long from head to toe.

But we don't need to play guessing games to know you're there or that you've grown. We can see AND feel that just by watching and touching your Mom's belly.

Over the weekend you were kicking for what seemed like 10 minutes at a time and we both just watched and felt in amazement. In fact, you seem to react a lot to music too! Your Mom and I were playing Beatles Rock Band and at this one point with a lot of bass your Mom saw you dancing along. But more on that later.

We can't help but smile every time we feel you kicking. This show was too good to keep to ourselves, so we had to take it on the road.

At a Pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving feast at the home of our friends BJ and Kari, we were all just sitting around talking after the meal. I went over and put my hand on your belly to feel you kicking and then your Mom grabbed Michelle's hand to let her feel too. She felt you kick and, also, couldn't help but smile and laugh! Michelle said she could almost even feel a little foot kicking her hand!

Next thing we knew, everyone wanted to feel you kick and squirm and move, and you didn't disappoint your future "Uncles" and "Aunts" and friends: they all got to feel you kick, and all reacted differently. Uncle Jeremy didn't even realize it when he felt you kick- he thought it was just a muscle spasm!

But everyone overall loved "meeting you"-- and they, like me and your mother, can't wait to meet you for real.

Feeling you kick definitely makes your arrival seem more real...but it still seems so unknown, so far off and altogether UNreal. That is to say, we still can't fathom what it will be like when you're here, nonetheless, we still can't wait for it!

To feel you kicking and hold your feet and see your eyes for real will be beyond words; but for now, feeling and seeing you kick against your Mom's belly is incredible enough and, on this week of good food and family, seeing you kick, feeling you move, watching you grow and knowing you're in there definitely and being able to share that with everyone gives me something to be Thankful for.

And THAT's how you get as mushy as an eggplant!

Sugar, Sugar!

If the past month of sweet treats has taught me anything, it's that your Mother is NOT diabetic, or she would have needed some sort of major insulin shot by now, after candy, ice cream cake, pie and cookies galore.

But, nevertheless, we went to the Doctor yesterday for our 24 week checkup and they had to make sure that your Mom didn't have pregnancy diabetes. The test was pretty fun (for me anyway).

They gave your Mom a pretty big bottle of orange liquid and say "you have 5 minutes to drink this."

Apparently it was like pure sugar and your Mom said it tasted like flat orange soda.

The nurse said sometimes it gives people the jitters, like a sugar high.

And, no, they wouldn't give me one at all!

After the first couple sips your Mom said "it's not too bad!"

A few sips later her opinion had migrated elsewhere. "This burns."

And with about a quarter of the bottle left and a minute and a half to go, she asked if she had time to take a break before finishing the chemically-orange liquid.

But, she did finish it before the 5 minute time frame was up. The nurse told me to "watch [your Mom]...she may get shaky." And watch her I did.

So, an hour after downing the drink, she had to get blood drawn to test the ol' levels.

Your Mom's tummy hurt. And, when she was told that she couldn't drink or eat anything in the hour between drinking and testing, she decided that she was starving to death. That's the power of suggestion in action!

In the meantime, though, we met with Dr. Hagood and had a stellar appointment. It was just heart-beat checking again, and your heart sounded great!

It was about 147 beats per minute, which was slower than we'd ever heard it.

But the Doctor said not to worry, because the heartbeat really just depends on what we catch you doing.

And sure enough, right after she said that, you bolted and she had to chase you around your Mom's tummy (probably the sugar drink kicking in). Once she found you, your heart beat was back up to 160 bpm-- racing as you were chasing!

The Doc measured your Mom's belly and sent us on our way.

All in all, it was a perfectly uneventful appointment, but your Mom might not be drinking Orange Soda, Orange Gatorade or Orange Juice for a while.

And, after dinner last night she didn't have cravings for any candy.

Maybe this Glucose test Sugared your Mom all out!

The test will come in less than a week: Thanksgiving is coming, and Thanksgiving means PIE!

Rippling, Believe it or Not

A Pic from Week 23

Last night, I was up checking on the White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies in the oven (that's right: cherry pie was out, cookies were in) when your Mom yelled, "Aaron, Come see this!"

And, like a true athlete, I dashed to her side in one fluid motion. She was staring down at her belly...watching you move!

She said she'd seen you move a little bit before, but tonight you put on a show! For about 10 minutes you seemed to be playing with us, rolling around, sticking out your limbs, turning around or something. Actually, we don't know what you were doing in there, because from the outside it looks like a series of pronounced subcutaneous jabs, spasms and ripples. Kind of like when in any good science fiction/fantasy movie a water monster slithers just over the surface of the water and then dives back down. Or kind of like a little alien possessing her tummy, tunneling under the skin. But, of course, it wasn't creepy like monsters and aliens...it's just other worldly and altogether impossible to describe.

It was amazing just sitting there watching you pop and kick and bounce and just cause ripples all over your Mom's belly.

We grabbed the camera really quickly and attempted to take some videos of you moving, for posterity. But, the movements didn't come out too well on video-- and you seemed to shy up when you knew you were being watched. But I think I captured 3 good movements on film, though I know there will be more displays to come. And now, dim the lights, get the popcorn, and watch the magic! (please note that any magic flashing colors are actually the lights of the TV flickering, not actual magic)

We both got the impression that you're a playful little fella, just having a grand old time for 10 minutes or so...until you passed out.

Interestingly enough, after your 10-minute kick fest, your Mom was starving again! That must have taken a lot of energy to do all that dancing! But don't worry, 2 1/2 giant cookies and two glasses of milk later, everyone was happy and full.

And now, to check on the boss bump that all this pie, cookies and other goodies are helping to grow:

Week 24

So keep kicking away, young man, and we'll keep watching! (And then, after you kick, maybe you'll get a cookie too!)

(Is it wrong to train you to do what we want like we trained Toby and Preston? I haven't gotten to that chapter in the book yet; I'll let you know when I do!)

She's My...Cherry Pie

I don't know if its the fact that over the past months we watched a series called "Pushing Daisies" in which the main characters own and work in a pie restaurant called "The Pie Hole"...

Or if it's because we also recently watched a movie called "Waitress," in which a pregnant woman channels her emotions into delicious pies...

Or if it's just the fact that your Mom is pregnant and has a voracious appetited, but for the past 2 weeks she's been craving CHERRY PIE!

After every dinner she says stuff like "I sure WISH we had some Cherry Pie!"

Or "Why doesn't Dallas have a "Pie Hole" restaurant?"

Or "Do you know how to make Cherry Pie?"

Ice cream, while still consumed just won't do. Cake, which was purchased and presented for our anniversary, was devoured but forgotten. Cookies, no matter how delicious, just aren't cutting it. Even though most of the leftover Halloween Candy has eaten been, it just isn't satiating that need for pie.

So, on a trip to the grocery store, we recalled this pie purpose and Holly bought her very own frozen cherry pie.

Immediately after dinner on Monday night, your Mom finally got to satiate her craving:

The cherry pie went in the oven, and 55 minutes at 400 degrees later, pure bliss.

I may have even had a little slice too.

There's good news and bad news here: The good news is that there was enough pie left over for her to have some yesterday after dinner too.

The bad news is that it's now all gone. And tonight I'm bringing home a tub of cookie dough I purchased from a co-worker.

Either these White Chocolate Chip Macademia Nut Cookies will fill the void or we're gonna have to go the store and get another Cherry Pie.

Cosmic Happenings

Things have been having cosmic coincidental undercurrents lately. I think it has something to do with the magic of being pregnant.

For example, last night your Mom and I both had dreams about me eating Fruity Pebbles, the cereal. In my dream, I could taste the cereal (which I'd never had before). Your Mom told me this morning that she too had a dream in which I ate Fruity Pebbles, and I loved them! (by the way, I did try them this morning, and they were alright. Cocoa Pebbles are better). But is being pregnant tying your Mom into some sort of cosmic connector? How else could she have received the signal I was transmitting and had her own Aaron and Fruity Pebbles dream?

What, that's not fruity enough for you?

Okay, check out this weird Twilight Zone connection. Remember yesterday's entry about the pigment (or lack there of) in your hair? I joked about what your Mom and I would look like with all white hair.

So this morning your Mom went into see our friend Myra for a haircut. And guess what they found growing from your Mom's head?

A single white hair.

And it was short, too, which means it's relatively new. Perhaps even one day old?

So, what do you think? Is pregnancy tapping your mother into some sort of cosmic interconnectedness craziness or are you just giving her grey hairs already? Is having you in her belly tapping your Mom into the world's unconscious and cereal-related desires, or is it just a mere coincidence?

Whatever the meaning behind these ESP happenings, nothing really compares to the magic of feeling you kick. Your Mom told someone the other day that everytime you kick, she can't help but smile. I had my hand on her belly last night, and I got to feel you kicking up a major storm. I couldn't help but smile either. Now THAT is a cosmic happening (not me smiling (i do that a lot); i was referring to the feeling you kick part!). Oh, and Belly Button Watch Day Whatever it is: It's still an inny!

Pigment of your Imagination

Welcome to Week 24! Although you are still supposedly the size of a papaya, we know you're growing like crazy in there. You can't look at the picture above and think "hmmm...papaya." So, we know that you've evolved beyond the papaya comparison!

You Mom said that your movements are feeling more and more fluid, rather than the jabby old punches we felt earlier. Your Nannah Joon even got the opportunity to feel you kick!

You're developing right along: you're face is pretty much formed and you're just accumulating fat. But, one of the coolest things we learned was that as of right now you're not a red head, blonde or brunnette. You have hair, eyelashes and eyebrows already but, as of right now, it's all WHITE! Pigment hasn't been developped yet!

So you won't feel bad about being a white-hair, I wanted to show you what your Mother and I would look like with all white hair! (Please note, this photograph is not my finest hour of digital manipulation...)

So, it IS possible to look good with all-white hair. I bet you look just dashing. To make up for that tomfoolery, though, I have to share with you some much higher-quality photographs I took two weekends ago. Your cousins Ruthy and Steve were kind enough to give me their old Digital SLR, and I've been experimenting ever since! We went to the Dallas Arboretum and spent the afternoon taking pictures of your Mom and her bump (well, at least that's what I did). The results are way better than the previously featured photograph.

So, even though we are officially in week 24, you can still enjoy some of these photos from week 23 at the Arboretum.

Nesting (and the growing-egg)

"Nesting" is apparently what happens when mamas and dads start to gather and collect a bunch of really cute toys, clothes and furniture to make a nice little nest for their fast-approaching little ones. It's also when they gather sticks, papers and other various garbage to make a little hay bowl in a tree somewhere so that they'll have a place to regurgitate worms into their offspring's mouths.



Much to your benefit, we've opted for the first option for nesting; the human one. The second option was too messy...and it takes forever to get those worms out of your teeth.

But, your nursery is really coming together. And all the speed holes have been patched and repainted. They say that there is no home project that goes smoothly. That's true: in hanging up more curtains this week, I made one extra speed hole when I accidentally hit wood with a molly. But, this mistake was a lot less vexing than last week's. Probably because I've gotten used to seeing what the inside of the walls in your nursery look like. Maybe by the end of this pregnancy, I'll be a handyman pro and not make any mistakes. But that's really not that fun...then I wouldn't learn how to do fun things like "Spackle" and "Cuss under my breath when I hit my thumb with my hammer!"

But let's not focus on the mistakes. Take a look at how this bad boy is shaping up!

Blammo- Look at those curtains and sheer curtain things and animal print top curtains! They almost look like they're professionally hung! And check it out in the foreground: that's your diaper changing table, courtesy of your Uncle Dana and Aunt Mendi via your cousin Kathryn.

Plus, you can't see in these pictures all the awesome clothes that your Aunt April and Uncle Taff and Cousins Keith and Jenny have given us (for your Mom to wear) and that Uncle Keith and Auntie Deborah gave us for YOU to wear (via your cousin Kobi). Everyone is being so nice and helping stock your nursery like crazy!

And check out what Holly's boss, Loretta, made for you:
Finally, the sock monkey your Mom made for you won't be so lonely! He has a little yellow elephant to keep him company! And (despite what it looks like) they're just friends.

And finally, check this stuff out: You'll see some new curtains on those doors (to keep it nice and dark-ish and quiet-ish for you), plus a new rug. The coolest thing, though, is that rocking chair! That rocking chair is Mimi and Pops' and is actually the very same chair that Mimi rocked me and Aunt Rebekka to sleep in night after night! We got new cushions, though, because '70s orange just didn't cut it for us!

Preston and Toby LOVE hanging out in the nursery now. It may be because carpet = soft, but I actually think that they can sense that you will be living there soon and they just can't wait to meet you and be your dogs! (and carpet= soft)

So, the nursery is really shaping up. But, what's the point of looking at the nest if we can't take a peak at the egg!

Here's the bump at week 23!

You're getting bigger and bigger! And your mom reports that your movements are more fluid, less spastic- as if you're becoming a regular person!

And as you continue to grow in your little egg shell there, we'll continue to nest and make sure the room is nice and neat when you come out. But, honestly, the nest is more for us than you. You won't really notice if it were a nice lush nursery or a Motel 6! But trust us, this ain't no Motel 6. This is a high quality, well-thought-out nest.

Now pardon me, I must go gather some more sticks, newspaper and, unfortunately, some worms.

Food with a Little Kick

Last night your Mom and I made dinner (okay, well mostly me, but she watched), and we had to add this special ingredient: Chipotle Peppers in Adobo.

Your Mom had one request: "Don't make it too spicy. Bad things happen in my tummy with too much spiciness."

Actually, she said spiciness gave her heartburn, but the way I wrote it is better.

Well, I only put in the called-for amount of Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce, plus a little extra to "man-up" the recipe, like I normally do when I cook. You see, most recipes go light on flavor, so I always man them up a little. So, when it called for 2 peppers, I put in 3 and then a fraction of a 4th one plus a few spoonfuls of the sauce.

The manned-up dish wound up having a little kick. Not cry-your-eyes-out spicy, but spicy enough to get your attention (and Spicy enough to make your Mimi cough for 10 hours).

So, after 1 bowl and 3 glasses of water each, your Mom and I were satiated. It was actually a good dish (Smoky Chipotle Mac and Cheese), and I'll make it for you once you, well, you know grow teeth and eat people food.

But, then something really interesting happened, and it wasn't heart burn. I don't know if the caliente cuisine spiced up your night, but you were dancing the night away all over your Mom's internal organs.

You kicked for about one and a half hours straight! We both could feel you kicking and punching just from putting our hands on the belly.

I'd say that the spicy food night was your most active night yet!

But who knows if it was truly the dinner or just a coincidence. The good news, though, is that there were plenty of leftovers, so we'll get to test again tonight to see if it was food with a little kick that caused the kicks or if it was just spicy food with kick on (in) the side.

Six Months (42 dog months, though)!

That's right, Saturday marked the beginning of your 23rd week in your Mom's belly AND your 6th month. There's only approximately 4 months left until you come out to see us!

And, you're already making tons of friends. One may just turn out to be your best friend, as in "man's best." While your Mom and I were chilling on the couch the other night, watching the toob, the dogs asumed their normal viewing positions: draped over, on or around your Mom in some fashion.

But Preston did something he's never done before: he curled up in your Mom's lap, and he fell asleep with his head resting right on the Baby Bump. You were your puppy's pillow! With one ear to the bump, the elder of your future two dogs was lulled into a sound, sound sleep.

And there he remained until it was time for us to go to bed.

With his acute sense of hearing, your Mom and I wondered whether or not he could hear you moving around in there, hear your heart beat, and perhaps hear you even sucking your thumb!

It's a crying shame that I didn't have my camera within arm's reach to take a picture of this idyllic scene, and had I gotten up to grab the camera, Preston would have gotten up too.

So, you'll just have to use your imagination for now. As of your 6 month with us, you already have tons of humans who love you and at least one canine, so far, who will be your best buddy!

Belly Science Experiments

Yesterday we ran the belly through a battery of standard scientific tests to check on the progress of the pregnancy. Please note, none of these tests were approved by a "medical" "doctor"

Test 1. Turkey Thermometer:

Belly Button Watch 2009: Day 3 Breaking News:

The belly button still looks like this:

(

That's right, it's still an inny!

Test 2. The Dark side of the Moon

The belly is growing by leaps and bounds! Your mom definitely can't see the underside of her tummy anymore. We tested this yesterday. And it's true. Let's just say that, somehow, your Mom managed to get some paint south of her belly button, on the underside of the tummy. I pointed it out to her and we had to set up an elaborate system of mirrors and smoke (for some reason) so she could see it. Who knows how long that paint had been there! There could be a paper clip or pencil or Russian army hidden under there, and she'd have no clue! It's a definite blind spot. Very hazardous for any man, woman or child (except for you) that may be hidden there.

Test 3. The Bounce House

We also performed a bounce test, to determine if the bump is, in fact, a "belly full of jelly" or a growing stone (which will gather no moss). To scienfically test this, we had your Mom do a gentle hop.

The belly seemed immune to the effects of inertia, force and most of Newton's Laws (though gravity may be kicking in soon enough). That is to say, the result showed NO JIGGLE.

That bump is more bump than belly. It's a solid protuberance of baby, and all baby!

Test 4: On the Road Again

Apparently the city of Dallas has decided that it's awesome to replace a whole lane of the major street near our house with an off-road style course consisting of gaping pot holes and gigantic chunks of concrete every where!

This makes for a bumpy road for anyone; but more specifically, this made for a bumpy road for you, the bump.

But you passed that test by doing what any sane person would do: kicking the person in front of you, rolling around and writing a letter to your local State Senator. A Strongly worded letter.

So, here is the summary of results of the baby belly tests:

1. Belly Button is still an Inny.
2. Don't get in the blind spot.
3. That's a solid baby bump, there.

4. Bumpy Roads Disturb the Bump.

As a reward for undergoing the belly tests, we rewarded both Baby and Mama with frozen yogurt and some left over anniversary cake (did I tell you that it was our 3rd wedding anniversary on Wednesday? No? Well, we celebrated in the normal Weinstein fashion: eating. I got two mini cakes from the same bakery that made our wedding cakes.... and your Momma and I devoured them). Then, as an extra reward, your Mom read some of "Lafcadio" out loud to you, so you could hear her voice.

Trust me, you hear mine enough.

I told you scientific experimentation would have its rewards! Oh, I didn't? Well, I meant to!

You are the Eggman!

I've been doing a lot of talking lately, so today, I'm gonna let some pictures do the talking! It just so happens that Saturday was the beginning of your 22nd Week in your Mom's belly AND it was Halloween, so we had to do some sort of costume to incorporate the belly! Your Mom is just too creative not to.

So we thought and thought about what costumes we could use to incorporate the preggo bell-o and, after much painting, papier mache-ing, face painting, sewing, embroidering, thrift store shopping and hot gluing, here's what we came up with:


Are you left scratching your head?



See, you are the Eggman...

I am the Walrus!

Goo goo ga joob?

Nah? It's probably before your time. I'll explain it to you, but suffice it to say you'll think it's hilarious and awesome! You're gonna love Halloween!

Your Mom can make almost anything! Look, she even managed to turn me into a be-flippered, fat monster! (though that's not too hard...I do have flippers).

But don't worry, if you want a store bought costume, we can get you one of those too!

And, of course, a week can't go by without us showing how much your mom has grown! Check out this comparison between week and Halloween day (Week 22)! Talk about a fast-growing eggman! It looks like you're almost ready to hatch-- but we're not even in the 3rd trimester yet, buddy-- no need to scramble! Look on the sunny side, in about 120 days you can come out of your shell...and don't worry, I'm not a walrus anymore!

The Cursory Nursery Kerfuffle: Curtains on Fight Night

You've heard of "The Rumble in the Jungle," "The Thrilla in Manilla" or "Kramer V. Kramer" right? (Me neither, but I looked them up).

Well, add another fight to the record books: The Cursory Nursery Kerfuffle I forgot the cardinal rule of pregnancy: don't pick a fight with a pregnant woman and don't take anything she says or does personally.

Actually that's two cardinal rules.

Here's how it all went down: Last night after dinner and a little TV, we decided to put up the curtains in your nursery. Before we did so, I wanted to jump on the computer (not literally, that would break it) for a quick second to check my email and do a few other things.

Meanwhile, though, your Mom was getting impatient with me. I told her I'd be off in a second, and she didn't believe me...which was a good call, because I was definitely on it for more than a literal OR figurative second.

But after a really quick email, and then an even quicker check on something on Facebook and then what was meant to be a really quick check of a PDF that was emailed to me (totally all NOT work related, by the way-- I don't do office work at home, you'll be pleased to know!), she was already beyond impatient.

Your Mom had already moved into the realm of irrational anger and said that I always make her wait! To which I replied, "I'm sorry, I'm here now. Let's put up the curtains."

(please note that all conversations are mere facsimiles of what actually ocurred... I can't remember a whole conversation verbatim!)

(also please note that through no fault of my own [it's mere human nature] the accounts of last night have been retold in a fashion that makes me look 100 % innocent and wonderful and funny to boot!)

"I don't believe your apology!"

"Okay, but seriously I was only on the computer for like five minutes"

"But that's only because I had to kick you off! Who knows how long you would have been on the computer?"

"Well, it doesn't matter- I'm here now! Let's do this curtain thang!"

"You would have piddled for hours and hours on the computer if I hadn't kicked you off!"

Here's where I made my fatal mistake.

Me: "You're being kinda mean and treating me like a child"

"Now you've made me angry! I'm gonna go sit on the couch now and once I sit down I'm not getting up. No curtains for you!"

"Come on, Dude! Let's put these curtains up while we have the opportunity."

"You do it."

"Why are you mad at me?"

"You're a piddler. And you're denying being a piddler to make me look bad on your awesome blog tomorrow."

"You know, I have redeeming qualities too."

"Don't remind me of those right now!" She said while throwing a throw pillow at me (seriously, if they didn't want them to be thrown, they wouldn't have named them that)

(p.s., those last two lines of dialogue and the pillow throw ARE verbatim!)

So, I decided to go upstairs to do homework to abide by that old saying:

"Never hang drapery while angry"

About 20 minutes later I started hearing the tinkering of tools and the soft pitter patter of heavy-footed angry pregnant walking.

I crept downstairs to see what was going on and I see your mother standing on a kitchen chair in your nursery trying to hang the curtains by herself.

Oh, and she was definitely still mad at me. But, she listened to reason at least and got off the chair and allowed me to hang the curtains while she and her stalwart guardians (Toby and Preston) sat and watched me.

2 1/2 hours, 3 unfilled gaping holes in the drywall and the hanging of 2 curtains 3 times later (hey, I'm not a handyman yet!), and the curtains were finished.

And it was curtains on the argument.

Oh yeah, except that I pouted for the rest of the night (which was, by that time, only 20 minutes long).

This morning, though, it's definitely curtains on that little kerfuffle. If only I'd remembered the cardinal rules of dealing with a pregnant woman, the whole thing would have been avoided. But, then again, the curtains probably wouldn't have been hung! So, there's a plus side to everything.

And, as a coda, when debriefing on the events of last night, I recevied word from your Mother that the woman in the house last night actually WASN'T her at all.

I let her know that even if it wasn't her, I was still being a total dope of a moron and should have known better than to pick a fight with a pregnant woman...especially when I was on curtain call! I admitted to being a loutish brute, a no-good ragamuffin and a cantakerous old coot sympathetic to skullduggery. She agreed with me on this assessment.

As a note, man to man, hormones do whacky things to pregnant women. During the whole pillow and stern word-throwing portion of the fight your Mom couldn't stop laughing either, so I didn't know if she was joking or not! Honestly, though, that's not too bad at all to go 22 weeks of pregnancy without one of these hormone-crazed absolutley ridiculous non-sensical scuffles.

All I have to remember is that when a woman is pregnant, her husband is always wrong! Easy enough; future fights mediated.

Note: no curtains were harmed in the making of this blog post. One nursery wall, however, now has three or four extra "speed holes" in it.

Belly Button Watch: Day 1 - Papaya and Jambalaya

Apparently you no longer grow from fruit-size to fruit-size every week from here on out. From weeks 21 to 24 you are the size of a papaya!

But, your Mother and I definitely aware that you're still growing day to day; you just won't be a new produce item each week!

In your first week as a papaya, your mother has become even more hungry than she was before. In fact, last night, she asked for a second bowl of Jambalaya. She never asks for a second bowl of Jambalaya!

And then after that was ice cream!

So, I totally don't believe that you've plateaued in growth. Mabye the Bump just ran out of fruit to compare babies to!

As another side effect of your growth, your mother's belly button has stretched out, become super shallow and now, your mother swears, that any day it's going to pop out from an inny to an outie.

So, I hereby begin Belly Button Watch 2009.

BBW 2009 - Day 1. Still an inny.

Your Mom has been really amazed by the progression of her belly button. The first day that she could see the bottom of it was a highlight of her day a few weeks ago. But maybe sooner than later, everyone will be able to see the bottom of it...because it will have poked out from one of these:

(

To one of these!

)

We'll keep you posted- maybe a few more helpings of Jambalaya will help this Papaya turn your Mother's Belly button inside out!

Spotlight On You

Yesterday Holly's boss generously gave us some tickets to see a Shakespeare play at the new theater downtown. Taking full advantage of not needing a babysitter and doing things on the whim, as we've been doing lately, we decided to go check it out and take you to your first work by the bard: A Mid Summer Night's Dream. You've really gotten a lot of culture recently!

And considering that, now at Week 22, you pretty much hear everything we hear, you've gotten quite an earful of iambic pentamter, opera and music as of late.

While the spotlight wasn't shining on us, you were kicking and squirming. The play was a lot of fun and well-done, but yours and your Mother's favorite part, by far, was probably during the intermission when she got to tear into that King Size Snickers that was burning a hole in her purse. I had to beg to even get a tiny bite! But, it's probably better that way, I had way too much candy over the weekend with Halloween and all (don't worry, I'll show you our awesome costumes later this week).

Later that night we had to put the spotlight on you to test something we'd read in one of the baby books. Apparently at week 22, although your eyes are fused shut and it's incredibly dark in the womb, you can still see some light-- and will react to it as well!

So, I warmed up the end of the Maglight, clicked it on and placed it on your Mom's belly.

Once we found you with the light, it almost felt like you were trying to punch it out! After a few kicks, though, you WHOOSHED to the other side of the belly. Your Mom giggled when you moved to the other side...it must have tickled.

I turned the flashlight off and was about to put it away, but then Holly took it from me. She wanted to feel you kick and move some more! So, the light went back on and you kicked and punched a few more times.

Eventually, though, we think you either found a good hiding spot or just decided to fall asleep in the light beam.

How many people get to say they shared the spotlight with Shakespeare?