Pains and Names: You're number one!

So, now that it's 2010, the official lists for the most popular names of 2009 have come out and, not surprisingly, your name is tops on the list (though it is spelled differently, so technically it counts as a different name).

This wasn't really a surprise, though. Back in the summer when we were coming up with names for you, we really liked the name we eventually chose for you. I'd never met anyone with that name and your mother had only met one. We knew it wasn't the world's most original name, and that it is night impossible to come up with a truly original name that won't be shared with anyone else in the world. Unless you wanted a name like "Urashfsd" or "Hzbsba." And we simply don't earn enough money to afford to name you after an inanimate object like "Apple" or "Paper Clip" or "Seesaw" or "Trigger" like so many rock stars can afford to do.

Using the really cool tool on the Social Security website, we searched your name and saw that over the past years it's been trending upward. So, yeah, we knew it was a popular name. But we didn't know it was going to be number 1 for last year! I mean, for 2008, your name wasn't even on the top 10 list. That means you sky rocketed past Jacob, Michael, Ethan, Joshua, Daniel, Alexander, Anthony, William, Christopher to take the number one spot!

You're number one!

But, even being number one doesn't make a name that popular. For example, last year's number one, Jacob, represented 1.035 % of the people born and named in 2008. That means that about one out of 100 people were named Jacob. So, it'll all depend on WHICH 100 people you choose to hang out with!

Even though we knew it was a popular name, we still decided to give you this name. We love the flow of it, the name itself, the way it fits with our last name, the fact that it honors my Grandmother, the meaning, the sound and- already- it is just...YOU!


It is interesting, though, how names like yours suddenly enter the national conciousness.

Even though we seem to have tapped into some sort of national cosmic trend without knowing it or doing it intentionally, we are sticking with your name! So, forget about it if there are 10 other kids with your name in your 1st grade class: you're still the only you on the planet! Your feelings shouldn't be hurt if you have to share your name with some other cool kids.

You are number one in another category too, though, and this one's a little bit more painful.

With the finish line in sight, the pregnancy is really starting to shift gears toward discomfort and pain.

Your mom just can't get comfortable while she's sleeping because her belly is so big.
She has these short and sorta painful fake contractions, which are just her body prepping for the big day.
Her pants ripped yesterday when she sat down (although, they were old pajama pants that she's had since she was a teenager...but it was still really funny!)

And now, your kicks and movements and jabs are tickling less and less and starting to shock and awe more and more.

Apparently, the bigger you get, the less room there is for amniotic fluid, so the body stops producing it. The lack of amniotic fluid means that there's a lot less cushioning between your fists, elbows, feet and head and your Mom's internal organs and ribs.

But, with pain comes pleasure (it's one of those dumb dualities of life); and you already are giving us so much pleasure in our lives that the pain (which surely pales in comparison to the potential pain down the road...in a month or two) is totally worth it!

So keep on kicking, buddy, and we'll keep watching for your feet to ripple under your Mom's belly. And while I'm smiling at the opportunity to feel you kick, and your Mother is grimacing, just know that we are eagerly waiting your arrival.

See, you're number one already!

Fitting Revenge

Your Mom and I went shopping over the weekend with the intent of getting her some new pants. Some larger pants. Some pants that fit her. Some pants that she can wear without having to discretely unbutton while sitting down. That was the plan.


Somehow, though, that plan was completely reversed: I wound up getting a pair of pants. But not just any pants, and not necessarily the pair of pants I would have purchased for myself. Your Mom, and the nice lady cleaning out the rest of the dressing room stalls, were offering all sorts of advice.

But baggy khakis are sometimes just more comfortable, Jared!

In an effort to get me out of "baggy" clothes and into a pair of pants that actually show off the fact that I have legs (the Weinstein chicken legs...pray you don't get those) and a tuchas (also pray you don't get a Weinstein version of that too), Holly wound up convincing me to get a pair of Dockers Slim Fit.

Slim? I've lost weight since college, sure, but I don't think of myself as "slim!" And the pants were, well, snug.

Wearing them at work yesterday I wasn't uncomfortable, per se, but I was always aware of my pants. Aware that they were on me, confining movement a little bit, revealing my gams, constricting my waist. Or in other words, "they fit."

How obscene! You can see the contour of that man's legs!

As I sat there wishing I had just worn my old worn-out khakis that are much too big (and way more comfortable), I couldn't help but wonder: was this pair of pants an act of pregnancy revenge?

After all, I am partially to blame for your Mother's current condition and, therefore, partially responsible for HER pants not fitting.


What a fitting revenge, then, that your Mother be responsible for MY pants not being as roomy as they used to!


Could she be that diabolical? Could I be "forced" to walk in her shoes (or fit in her pants) as the pregnancy goes on? Honestly, I'm already very sympathetic...I don't need to have a watermelon strapped to my stomach to help me in that regard.

Never trust a woman with a hatchet--especially a pregnant woman who doesn't like your pants.

Or maybe, this tight pants conspiracy is all a misunderstanding; after all, I did look GOOD in those pants. (There's the Weinstein modesty...which you will probably be born with!)


PS. I had a plum with my lunch today. It was really bizarre to hold that plum in my hand. A plum is way bigger than you think it is; and way bigger than I thought when I visualized it earlier this week! A 2.1 inch diameter makes for a substantial-sized baby! Weird!