Prints and Nails

Since we're pretty sure you're a boy, and you had to watch three girly movies (though one was arguably an adventure movie, based on a chick flick premise), it's time to talk super hero powers again.

In your Mom's belly, you are really displaying some mutant powers. This week, your skeleton is hardening changing from some sort of rubbery cartilage into bone. So, apparently you've been very similar to Mr. Fantastic, and now you're actively hardening your skeletal structure. That's pretty much something Colossus would do. No, that's better than what he can do: he can only harden his skin; you're hardening bone! How cool is that?

In another body-altering, mutant power move, you've developped finger prints this week! That's right, your one-of-a-kind bio signature is developped. No two people's fingerprints in the world are ever identical and that means that your mother and I will be able to find you anywhere, so don't get in trouble.

No wait, that's not what it means. It means that you have fingerprints! You're slowly but sure turning into you! Think about how far you've come already. When you were just a sperm you didn't have fingers at all-- now you have fingers with uniquely patterend swirls of raised ridges on them! (but you lost your tail in the process, so that's kind of a tradeoff). So with that superpower of fingerprint creation, plus the ability you possessed to move your ears to their proper positions and shapeshift from a tadpole to a humanoid, you're kind of like Mystique! Except not as blue. But we'd love you anyway if you were.

Interestingly enough, being pregnant with you has given your Mom some more super powers in recent weeks, in addition to the super human hearing and smelling. But, where you got finger prints, your Mom gets finger nails.

That's right, her super-human abilities now include fast-growing nails. I know, pretty lame right? It's not quite as cool as Sabretooth or Wolverine, but they do get so long so quickly that people ask her "are those fake?" The long nails are good for back scratches, though, I gotta admit.

Maybe I should convince your Mom not to cut them for the rest of the pregnancy, to see if they'd look like this:

Yuck...those are creepy, but she kind of looks like Storm, except instead of lightning bolts coming out of her fingers she has disgusting, repulsive growths. Never mind on challenging your Mom to grow them that long. That picture actually makes me kind of sick.

But, neverheless, it's kinda cool that both you and your Mom are getting super powers during this whole adventure, even if some aren't as cool as others. Hey, at least you guys GOT powers, all I'm stuck with is the ability to pop my toe knuckles and ramble on about super heroes an awful lot. I'd take fast-growing nails over that anyday!

Wife Cold

As of today you are 17 weeks and 3 days old! That means you are now at least the size of an onion! It's fitting that your week as an onion should have begun with such stinky circumstances, since, well, onions stink.

This weekend, your Mother got a cold, and that stunk for everyone (almost as much as a giant onion).

On Friday afternoon she wasn't looking too good and by Friday night she took a turn for the worse.

Despite drinking lots of tea and put Mentholatum on her feet, your Mom woke up Saturday morning (actually, it was closer to afternoon) with a full blown cold:

Drainage, Sore Throat, Achy Ears, M's turning into B's (you know like saying "Bobby" instead of "Mommy"), Exhausted, Miserable, Stuffed Up Nose, Headache and a wonderful Cough!

The only problem is, when you're pregnant you can't take the same medicines you'd usually use to kick a cold's butt. After a call to the doctor, we started your Mom on a healthy diet of Mucinex and Acetemeniphen. (NO Ibuprofen for preggo-ladies!)

But, medicine alone can't cure a cold. So, your Dad played nurse all day Saturday and took a wholistic approach to making your Mom feel better.

By the end of Sunday afternoon, you and your Mom had:

• spent over 36 uniterrupted hours indoors


• eaten approximately 64 ounces of Egg Drop soup


• drank 3 bottles of Gatorade (blue, yellow and orange!)


• used 80 tissues (an entire box)


• drank 7 cups of decaffeinated tea and four cups of warm apple juice


• Used at least 3 Breath-right strips


• Put 10 olive-oil soaked cotton balls in her ears (backwoods medicine)


• Breathed in 3 full containers of Humidified Air Water

I also have to tell you that you suffered a significant exposure to a film genre called "Chick Flicks" on Saturday.

Back-to-Back-to-Back, your Mom watched her favorite movies, and you had a front-row seat some of the best make-Holly-feel-better movies out there:

"Ever After," "The Princess Bride" and "Shakespeare in Love"

Your First Chick Flick Marathon. Hopefully your last? (Note: I approve of most of these movies for repeated viewing...just not one that rhymes with "shmever shmafter")

The good news is that in a genre that contains some of the worst movies of all time, you managed to have a mother who likes some of the best of them. That is to say, I mostly approve of the movies you watched, despite them definitely being "Chick Flicks." But Drew Barrymore still kind of talks funny (you'll see what I mean).

But, the good news is that you and your Mother survived! By Sunday morning your Mom was feeling markedly better. See, all that medicine and loving care and MSG worked! Either that or it was a 48-hour bug and our actions had no effect, and you suffered through 7 hours of Chick flick for nothing.

Even though our weekend was ostensibly stinky as an onion, your Mom and you and I did get to spend a lot of time together and talk about you and your nursery and your name and registering for all the things you'll need. So, all in all, despite the living room turning into a makeshift sick ward, it wound up being a pretty nice weekend: unless you were once a tree that was turned into tissues. In that case, this weekend blew.

First Contact

Pregnancy has, of course, changed your Mother and Me (and most definitely you)! Some of these changes will be "forever" changes (and we can't wait for those), some will be only temporary. Some are complete reversals of Weinstein-family policies and those are the most shocking kind!

As an example, last night your Mom said she wanted Chinese food for dinner.

I suggested, "How 'bout we try that buffet near our house?"

Normally, that is to say "pre-pregnancy," that question would have been answered with a categorical, emphatic "NO WAY. We do not do buffets." (This policy was set in place after years of your dear old Dad gorging and then whining to your Mom about forcing him to eat so much.)

Much to my surprise, without even a hestiation, your Mom said "Sounds great!"

I was so surprised and excited about the prospects of gorging myself that I had to do a double take. But she actually did say "Yes!"

So off we went. And gorge myself, I did. (This restaurant was also a really good weapon in my arsenal to slightly fatten your Mom up!)

But, at the restaurant your Mom and I witnessed another "new change," but this one's only temporary. That's right, we experienced First Contact: the first of what is probably going to be a major (temporary) change due to you growing in her belly! Now, first contact doesn't mean that she finally felt you move in her tummy (but I'm gonna keep trying!), or that I could finally hear your heart beat through her bellybutton, or that aliens landed and decided to go to a Chinese Buffet (though I don't know what that has to do with anything).

The monumental First Contact in this case was a total "Wow, we really are pregnant, aren't we?" moment! That's right, on a very special bite of food's long journey from the plate on the table to your Mom's mouth, a big droplet of Sweet and Sour sauce took a nosedive off the morsel and landed squarely on the your Mom's belly.

This was, officially, the first piece of food that your Mom has spilled on the baby bump.

As you continue to grow, and your Mom has to sit further and further away from the table, I'm sure, though, that it will not be the last. We may have to pre-use your bibs!

Please note: I routinely spill food on my belly, but that is not news in any way at all.

Food Stain? No problem for Oxi clean. And no, that guy doesn't look like me at all.

Evidence of Growth

I've spent a lot of time showing the meticulously staged week-by-week evolution of your Mother's growth during pregnancy. And, don't worry, we're still taking those pictures every week! But, I wanted to show you that your mother and I do exist outside the confines of your future nursery! So, here is your mother- and her growing belly- and her boob of a sidekick (that's me) out in public while pregnant. It's totally embarrassing evidence that your mother is pregnant and growing (and hungry), but it's the truth!

Week 9. Your mother and I, and your cousins Haley, Kathryn and Grayson. Note how your Mom is hardly showing at all!

Week 13. Your Mom and I with Jeremy and Michelle at a baseball game. 4 weeks really shows how much the belly can grow.

Week 16. 7:00 pm. Goodbye Turkey Leg! Please note how delicately she devours her food: the pinky remains up in the air!

Week 16. 8:00 pm. Goodbye Roasted Corn

Week 16. Your Mom with Kari, Jeremy and Michelle. See! Look how big she's getting. And, no, Jeremy doesn't always dress like that.

But despite the generous belly growth and spouts of carnivorous eating, not every one yet can tell that your Mom is pregnant! Of course, we all can tell; but she's still not getting the public pregnancy treatment. For instance, at the that fair we went to, your mother and a very pregnant lady were standing at the back of the line for the restroom. All the girls ahead of them put their heads together and said that the very pregnant lady could cut ahead of them all. All your Mom wanted to do was stick her belly out even more and say "I'm pregnant too!" (Because a: she really had to go to the bathroom and b: she's super happy to be growing you in her belly and wants everyone to know just by looking at her and c: the line was really long!)

But, don't fret, we're not rushing you. And with the amount of turkey legs and corn (and secretly buttered food) that we have evidence of your Mom consuming, it won't be long before the bump (that's you) will be evident to everyone!

Just look at how much good the turkey and corn did when we went registering at Babies R Us the very next day:

Week 16. By the end of the pregnancy will I be pushing your Mom around in your stroller? Probably not, but the bump (aka "you") is growing!

Your Father, the Fattener

Your Mom took her first solo trip to see Dr. Hagood on Monday this week. Since it was just a 5-minute heartbeat checkup, I opted to stay at work and save up some goodwill to take off for our next sonogram in 2 weeks!

Good news, of course, your heartbeat sounds perfect and is just tick-tick-ticking away.

The other news, though certainly not of the "bad" variety, is that your Mom has had a net weight gain of 2 pounds. This isn't weight gained from the beginning of the pregnancy, but weight gained from two appointments ago. So, she lost some weight two times ago, and gained some weight from then til now. Confused? Me too. Point is, though, that, though no one's in danger and nobody's at risk, your Mom is still 2 pounds lighter than the Doctor was expecting.

Thus, I've taken it as my personal mission to fatten up your mother!

I'm immediately reminded of an episode of this show called "The Simpsons" (it's a cartoon about a yellow family that started when I was 8 or something! don't worry, it'll probably still be on for you as well). Anyway, the resident huckster doctor has a formula to help the oafish dad, Homer, gain weight rapidly so he can get on disability:

"Be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon. And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. "

Your window to Weight Gain!

My first attempt at this evil plan backfired. Using the okra overstock from our garden, I made a corn, okra and cheese casserole for dinner. This dish called for a whopping 6 tablespoons of butter. Being the gourmet chef that I am, I opted to add even more butter than that! But, as it turns out, this dish wasn't all that good. Too much butter makes things too rich, leaving your Mother taking only one bite. The biggest backfire, though, was that I managed to eat half of it and gain 27 pounds just by eating one dinner.

That's a lot of butter.

But last night's dinner plans went a lot better. Instead of forcefully cooking unhealthily, I just cooked like usual. The dish I made was a big hit, and your Mom ate a whole bowl (which is a lot for her these days).

She was so full afterwards that she even said, "Ohhhhh, I'm so full. Why did you have to make it taste so good?"

I just smiled and said "I don't know how to cook any other way...except for that casserole. That sucked."

But little did she know that the well-prepared dinner was just a plan to fatten her up! And I did a little evil laugh in my mind will twirling my imaginary evil mustache:

Muah-ah-ah!! Ah-ah-ah!

All that is true except for the last bit. I told Holly about my plan to fatten her up from the get go!

Pregnancy Pickle

No, no, no, you haven't changed from an avocado to a pickle in one day. I'm talking about a different kind of pickle: a connundrum, a sticky situation, a tough call, a catch-22, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

And, ever since she's been pregnant, your Mom seems to be finding herself in a lot of them. Pickles, that is.

Take last night for instance:

Your mother climbs in bed, gets all situated and then throws her arms up in the air.

"Ughhhh!" she says.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I'm hungry, but I'm too tired to get out of bed!"

There you have it, a classic pregnancy pickle.

Now, don't worry, this one was readily solved with a little bit of clear thinking:

"What can I get you to eat?"

"I don't know, I'm hungry but nothing sounds good!" she said, displaying yet another oft-recurring pregnancy pickle.

After a moment of silence she decides, hesitantly, "Raisins?"

And then, in a stroke of genius, your father offers, "What about that bag of dried fruit on your night stand?"

"Oh yeah!!!!" she replies as she reaches for the bag of food she left by her bed the last time she got too hungry in bed but was simultaneously too tired to eat.

Pickle averted! Or was it just pickle postponed.

My guess is the latter. These pickles come up a lot.

Some of my favorites:

• "I'm bored but too tired to do anything."
• "I'm tired but too uncomfortable to sleep."
• "I'm full but I'm still hungry."
• "I'm starving, but nothing in the world at all is edible."

Okay, so maybe some of those are made up (or maybe they're not). But, truth be told, none of these pickles are detrimental or unsolvable, and because your Mom is so funny about it, I have no problem offering my hand at helping her out of these pickles whenever I can.

Now when we get to a real pickle like "I want to paint my toenails but I can't seem to find my toes," then we might run into a little bitmore of a problem!

Holy Guacamole!

I can't believe it! You're already 16 weeks old! According to the ever-increasing fruit-scale, you are the size of an Avocado! Whoa!

That doesn't surprise me too much because your Mom's tummy is REALLY starting to show now. Forget all that stuff I said before about her showing; comparatively, that was just a little Root Beer Belly. Now she's legitimately beginning to show!

In fact, her belly has grown so much that your Mom is constantly marveling about the changing (read "shrinking") depth of her belly button.

"Aaron, look, I can see the bottom of my belly button!"

The belly button is definitely becoming more and more shallow. Without a flashlight or anything, we can see the bottom of that little button. And when your Mom's about ready to pop, just like a pop-up turkey thermometer, her belly button may unceremoniously turn from an inny into an outie.

You may have also noticed that this week your eyelashes, eyebrows and hair are starting to fill in. On an even cooler note, your taste buds are forming! That means, for the first time, you might actually care which fruit you are equatable to in size. And it's a good week for that. Avocados are among your Mom's favorite foods!

But, what I think is the coolest, is that teeny tiny versions of the teeniest tinyest bones in the human body are now forming...creating the inner workings of your ears!



That means that you can probably pick up your Mother's voice this week, and possibly mine too. I'll try to sing on key!

Hopefully you didn't hear us on Sunday. In an attempt to get a coupon at Babies R Us so that we could get a discount on your Mom's body pillow, we signed up to register at that superstore.

It was overwhelming to say the least. How does one chose items to buy for a challenge they've never faced before? We didn't know what was what...what kind of breast pump, diaper genie, stroller or anything to get! Holy Guacamole, talk about shopping for someone else being difficult! This was downright stressful! AND they didn't even have the right body pillow in the store anyway, so your Mom wound up ordering it off Amazon today.

A good visual representation of how I felt in Babies R Us. Minus the Latina baby Girl, of course. They made me give her back.

But about 2o minutes in to the registering, you would have heard me whine and basically throw in the towel on the whole deal. Not the pregnancy; just the registering. It was not my finest moment, so I'm glad your ear bones weren't fully developed yet to hear that miserable excuse for a power shopper.

We did see lots of cool stuff that we want to get for you (and for us for you); but most of it seemed foreign. Stacks and stacks of stuff that we didn't know if we needed or absolutely didn't need.

We've never done this before, so we're gonna have to seek some advice from some of your Uncles and Aunts and some other key advisors.

Maybe by the time you CAN hear me from inside your Mom's tummy, we'll be better prepared to make a decent show of registering for Baby gear. And then you'll hear that cash register ding and be a little less stressed about the whole deal.

But for now, you've got all the gear you need: umbilical cord, amniotic fluid, a growing womb in which to play less cluttered by an intrusive belly button and (this is news) a likely candidate for your Name!

That's right...we may have decided on your name! More on this later though!

Side-by-Side-by-Sidesleeping

Did you know that your Mom is growing more and more uncomfortable day by day? Or, should I say, night by night... Now, don't be upset; it's a natural part of pregnancy: your Mom cannot find a comfortable way to sleep!

Sleeping on her stomach is completely out of the question; she doesn't want to cramp your style.

Sleeping on her back is growing more and more complicated. Basically, the new weight brought on by growing a you in her belly has added some extra mass on her topside. This extra mass makes her feel like shes being "crushed." Now, I could think of worse ways to be crushed, but your Mom just can't do it!

That only leaves one option: Side sleeping!

The only problem with side sleeping is that by exposing the small of her back or a nest-like space between her butt and her legs, she is only inviting Toby and Preston to nuzzle up closely. And boy do those boys take advantage. Like little fuzzy bookends, the dogs sleep closer and closer to her every night!

Also, starting soon, the added weight of pregnancy (in chest and belly) is going to start having "dunlap disease"...where it dunlap off the edge of the bed. In fact, I think it's happening already. The solution: a body pillow. I've suggested it many times, as did Iris and David. But your Mom is resisting the notion. It would provide tons of support for you in her belly! And then think, you could sleep on her belly pillow AND her bladder! It's the best of both worlds!

I will try again this weekend to get a body pillow that your mother will use. Until then, though, it's side sleeping with a side of white dog and another side of gray dog (and a slight chance of dunlap).

Speaking of sides, though, take a look at this side-by-side comparison of your Mom at week 8 and at week 15! Can you spot the difference?

Glow Worm

Your Mom is positively glowing these days. She just has a smile on her face all the time and is ebulient, bubbly, chipper and funny to boot!

Of course your Cousin Addison can always make your Mom smile; but the "pregnancy glow" is totally obvious in this pic. Who else could smile that big while being ditched on a rock while left holding two lemonades?

Even when she's not feeling good, or a bit sickly, she's still got this glow about her. You hear people talk about the "glow" of pregnancy all the time, but to experience it first hand is really an incredible experience...even if she does still tell me how bad I smell.

Orange You Glad I went to the Airport?

You are officially well into your 15th week inside your Mom's belly. The fruit equivalent of your size, on average, is a naval orange! The site says that on average a baby at your age will be 4 inches in length...although you were 4 inches from rump to crown about two weeks ago!

But still, an orange is a pretty big piece of produce! You are continuing to grow in your Mom's tummy and nearing normal proportions. This week your legs should finally be longer than your arms. No wonder in the video you were so easily touching your toes! Your arms were longer than your legs. But not any more!

On a good note, though, Oranges are very good for you. And you've been very good to your Mother! The post-plane nausea has all-but disappeared, and she's gotten her appetite back; although she's now mostly hungry for Egg Drop soup and egg rolls.

The site also says you should be very busy in there, wiggling and squirming around, though your Mommy can't feel it quite yet. But she's looking more and more pregnant each day! Check this one out from our trip to Maine:

Someone else has been moving around like crazy this week too: me! But I wasn't in anyone's belly...I was in a plane. But at the airport in Chicago yesterday afternoon, waiting to come home you and your Mom, I saw stars from one of your Mom's most favorite television shows: "Myth Busters."

I went up to the stars, Tory, Grant and Kari, and got their autographs, a picture and chatted with them.

I even asked them for advice on baby names, since your Mom and I seem to have writer's block on baby boy names!

Now Kari, who apparently just had a baby girl 10 months ago, said she couldn't give me her best boy names, in case she had a boy next. Then she offered "a boy named Sue" (which is a Johnny Cash song and also completely not an option for your name).

After some moments of thinking, Kari and Tory both offered up the name "Buster."

"Buster" is their show's famous crash-test dummy who gets stabbed, beaten up, drowned, exploded and abused in every episode.

The bruised and battered "Buster."

I also pointed out that "Buster" from "Arrested Development" doesn't fare to well either (See below).

But, Tory added that "Buster Keaton" did quite well with that name. And, hey, the name "Keaton" isn't too bad... but it's not an option either!

So, needless to say, the Mythbusters, who can solve nearly every conundrum thrown at them, couldn't do anything to help bypass this baby naming boondoggle! Well, except maybe they contributed two names that are definitely off the list (and weren't on the list to begin with!)

But don't worry; your Mom and I will have a great name picked out for you by the time you are ready to come out into the world!

Big Baby

So, here we are at week 14. You missed this week's you-to-fruit comparison, didn't you? Well, fret not. In week 14, you are approximately the size of a Lemon!

How cool is that? You know, your Mom LOVES lemons! She ate so many of them when she was a kid that she wore down the enamel on her teeth and, consequently, they didn't glow in black lights. But, that's all been fixed now. Yay for modern dentistry!

Some cool things in your development this week:

• You are "making urine"- that sounds just like your dear old Dad. I make urine quite frequently.
  
• You are breathing amniotic fluid. Okay, so that sounds a bit amphibious. But, eventually you'll breathe good old air.
  
• Your liver, kidneys and spleen are developing like crazy! You'll need all of those, fer sure!

And, this one's pretty cool. You are growing thin, downy, feathery hair all over your body for warmth. I know you may be worried that you'll look like me after I got my head shaved or Uncle Jeremy or some kind of Wookie, but don't worry.

This hair growth, called Lanugo, is only gonna stick around while you're in the womb. It's cold in there, apparently! They have some high tech images of what this Lanugo looks like:

See, you look more like Mark Twain than a Wookie. But, you're definitely in a part-mammal, part-amphibian stage in your life. Which means you could, theortically, star in Waterworld 2. (Don't worry, these jokes will be hilarious later in life).

But, the most interesting thing, to me, is that, apparently, you're above average already! The Bump says that at week 14, on average, the baby is 3.4 inches long.

A week ago yesterday, you clocked in at 4.o inches long, from rump to head! That makes you significantly larger than the average-sized baby! Almost 1/3 bigger than the average!

This revelation was greeted with a humorous exhange between your mother and I (very intelligently debating the difference in our respective sizes):

Aaron: "Our baby is way longer than the average length. The Bump says that at week 14, on average, the baby is 3.4 inches long. But our baby measured 4 inches long. LAST WEEK!"

Holly: "Really?"

Aaron: "Yeah, look at me!"

Holly: "Are we gonna have a big baby?"

Aaron: "Yeah, look at me!"

Holly: "Yeah, but look at me!"

Aaron: "So, look at me!"

Holly: "Yeah, but look at me!"

This went on ad nauseum until our batteries wore out. We haven't gotten any stats on percentiles or anything like that, yet. But, if this lemon information is any good, you might be a big baby!

Whether you'll be big or not, I still can't get over how much you've grown from the first time we saw you! You're a little person in there now; at first glance you were just a smudge with a heartbeat!

Pregnancy Head

The powers that be describe an ancient side-effect of pregnancy described as "Pregnancy Head." This side-effect has, largely, contributed to the downfall of mankind.

Technically, "Pregnancy Head" or "Pregnancy Brain is described as follows:

"What it is: Pregnancy-induced brain fog, a true (and truly frustrating) hallmark of pregnancy. You may forget appointments, what you just walked into the store for, where you left your purse, whether you turned off the stove — and maybe, your phone number.

What causes it: As usual in pregnancy, it's just your hormones having some fun, this time at the expense of your memory. And believe it or not, your brain-cell volume actually decreases during the third trimester of pregnancy (which could explain why you can't remember what you just read about in that last paragraph). Not to worry, your brain will plump back up a few months after delivery."

That sounds all fine and dandy. No. Wait. It sounds horrible. In fact, it spells one word for me, son: DISASTER.

In a bit of a "Flowers for Algernon" moment (don't worry, you'll have to read that story in Junior High), I've slowly been watching your Mother lose her grip on her brain.

I've seen little clues laying around the house that her memory is slipping into a place of baby-thoughts and absentmindedness. They take the form of hair ties.

These black, elastic ringlets of doom have been left and littered in every room in the house. I find them everywhere: in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the bed. I haven't found one in the fridge yet. Though several were lost on the plane. I know your Mom says it's just because her hair is slippery, and I assume that has something to do with it. But, it's so unlike her to lose anything! To misplace a mitten, to lose a letter to forget a forget-me-not.

The pregnancy head reached a head this weekend. Mimi and Pops gave your Mom a bracelet (that once belonged to Pops' mom). As we were half way back to New Hampshire, I looked at your Mom's wrist and asked her if she remembered the bracelet.

Now, not to worry. Within moments, I had called the hotel, the found the bracelet and had put it in a FedEx envelope with our address on it. But the point is this: if Pregnancy Head continues, we are all screwed.

You see, the problem is, I am supposed to be the forgetful one. I lose my wallet once a year, I often misplace my phone and keys while I'm texting and driving (not at the same time, mind you). I can't find my pants, or my socks, or my shoes, or my rocks (read, "marbles"). My head is not screwed on. I can't be trusted. Yet in this new formula, with Pregnancy Head attacking your Mom's brain cells, I have to be the mindful one!

This is not. looking. good. Example: I too lost something this weekend at the Hotel in Maine. But I didn't realize it until we got home. So, goodbye cell phone charger (at least we had a spare). See, I'm as absentminded as they come.

I don't want to be a fear monger here, but, thank goodness we can't lose you! You're safe and secure in your Mom's belly. Which she takes with her where ever she goes!

But, Pregnancy Head greatly reducing the number of gigabytes in the Weinstein hard drive, I may find myself lost one day soon! At least I wasn't left behind in the hotel in Maine!

A good sign of Pregnancy Head: Giggling while playing with Crayons. On the other hand, though, there is some hope: it seems that she was organizing the Crayons by color. This could mean that we aren't doomed!

Update: After reading this post, your Mom still managed to leave her cellular phone at the art studio. We're all doomed again!

14 Week Fireworks!

Mimi, Pops, your Mom, you and I just returned from a trip to Maine last night. We got to see and hang out with tons of family, including your Uncle Taff, Aunt April, and your Cousins Addison and Autumn. Taff and I even went baby clothes shopping at the Maine Mall; I'm pretty sure we looked like quite an odd couple to be visiting Baby Gap together in Maine. But, it was totally worth it. I bought you some really hip clothes (which have buttoned-up bottoms (something Pops will probably be envious of)) AND a really cool Darth Vader t-shirt which you can wear in March of 2011. Talk about planning ahead!

So, we were in Maine on your 14th week conception day celebration! As mentioned above, I celebrated by buying you clothes!

You and your Mom chose to celebrate with some FIREWORKS! A real outpouring of excitement!

So, Southwest Airlines is cool and all, but they're not the most direct way to travel. Your Mom stomached the ~10-hour journey up to Maine. And on the way back she did just fine on the drive from Maine to Manchester, New Hampshire. The flight from Manchester to Baltimore was decent too. By the time we flew from Baltimore to St. Louis, Missouri, though, your mom was starting to feel a little unwell. During the flight from St. Louis to Dallas, she seemed like she was going to make it: pale, eyes shut, feeling pretty ill and holding on to the seat in front of her for dear life.

Then they announced that we had begun our initial descent into Dallas. I could see patchwork ground out the window. I could also feel that the ride had gotten substantially bumpier. Your Mom hadn't said a word in about 15 minutes; then she made her move and deftly reached for the barf bag tucked in the back of her seat. She put it to her mouth and...and....WHAT A SAVE!

She breathed heavily into the bag, letting it inflate and deflate with her breaths; but crisis was averted.

Or so I thought.

Moments later, the bag made its way back to your Mom's face. The crunch of the landing gear coming out of the bottom of the plane seemed to be the only sound I heard. I looked at your Mom, and she looked at the back of her eyelids; eyes tightly close. This was it. The grand finale. The fireworks!

I held her hair and exchanged the first bag for the second, the second for the third. She recycled her Starbucks Banana Strawberry Milkshake and Bagel sandwich.

Your Mom had quite a record going! 14 weeks and 2 days of pregnancy without vomiting. But, on that flight to Dallas, the record was wiped clean. My sweatshirt had to be wiped clean as well. The man in the aisle seat of our row, unfortunately, did not say "goodbye" to us as he left.

This just goes to prove that when your Mom does something, she does it big. And anyway, as your Mom said soon afterwards, "At Least you'll have something for the blog."

So, in utero, you've been to Massachusettes, Rhode Island, New Hampshire and Maine! And, I believe it's safe to say this will mark the end of your in utero inter-state adventures.

But, the fireworks were all for you, young man!

Here's what we know so far: you are 14 weeks old, you don't like flying, and you already have some pretty cool clothes to wear; I am down one sweatshirt; and your mother is feeling MUCH better now.

Happy 14th week!

Scary Sonogram and Gender Prediction Ender

The sonogram technician yesterday said she wouldn't show us a close-up of your face because, basically, right now it's only skin tightly draped over bone, creating quite a skeletal visage. She said lots of people get scared when they see it; so we were okay with that.


But then the Doctor came in to do his sonogram and almost immediately showed us your face! Now, it certainly doesn't look "cute" due to the facts mentioned above, and also because the sonogram is an x-ray-ing device...causing us to see through things that we normally can't see through. The result is that the sonogram looks a bit scary right now!

Almost like the Predator, the Donnie Darko Rabbit or Jack Skellington:

Oh, by the way, no chance you're seeing "Predator" or "Donnie Darko" for a long, long time. But, "Nightmare Before Christmas," we can probably arrange sooner than later.

No matter what celebrity skeleton the sonogram resembles, everyone can agree that you look like your Mother when she's hungry (and angry). Actually, we have no doubt about how cute and precious you're going to be; which is why I can openly share that scary sonogram with you. It's not everyday that someone gets to see their pre-natal skull! Pretty cool!


Now your profile, like the sonogram technician said, is all the proof we need that you're adorable! You've got a little button nose, a tiny teeny ching and a good looking head!

Look at that punum!

SPOILERS BELOW: Don't read on if you don't want to know the baby's gender.

But, of course, your multitude of fans didn't congregate here to marvel at your face. Today, they're much more interested in something below the belt. So, without further adieu (and only a slight qualification (the Doctor said he was 90% sure about this diagnosis)):

YOU'RE A BOY!

Here's the evidence:

And to celebrate, please enjoy this song by, of course, John Lennon, that really aptly sums up what's been going on in both your Mother's and my head since we found out!

Also, proving you're already a leader and not a follower, you totally proved all those Old Wives Tales to be COMPLETELY wrong! Look at you, already a solid Weinstein de-bunker!

Picture Perfect, Part II

Today we went in for our Week 13 sonograms (thanks to Iris and David for convincing us to go)...and they were AMAZING.

We have an early surprise! Well, it's not a surprise to you, as you already know. But, anyone who wants to know our baby's gender should check back tomorrow!

That's right, I'm such a torturer that I'm going to make them all wait til tomorrow to find out, if they don't know already!

But, I don't want the gender news to overshadow all the other awesome things that we saw today.

We saw you kicking your legs like crazy, and we saw a close up of your little foot. (all 5 toes accounted for!)


We saw your heart pumping blood; all four ventricles are working! And we saw your brain!

We saw you scratch your head, stretch down and play with your toes, and scratch your chin.



We heard your heartbeat again- still in a great range: 160 bpm!

It was really amazing. Your Mom and I didn't cry, but we were both just floored at how much you've grown since your last picture session and how human your movements were. Actually, most of your movements were very human, but your legs looked a little bit like when Kermit the Frog rides his bicycle. You know...kind of almost as if they were moving independently of the rest of your body's motions, but this might have been heightened because we couldn't see your arms!


But, Muppet or not, the experience was incredible. And then to make it even more incredible, we discovered your gender (with 90% certainty!)

It was so great to see you again and count your fingers and toes. It was the stuff of dreams to watch you kicking and squirming and moving around.

And, at the very end, you gently fell asleep on your Mom's bladder. Face down. The doctors tried to wake you up by jostling the belly, but you wouldn't wake up for anything! You sound like a Weinstein already!

They even made DVD of the whole sonogram for us, so we can watch you whenever we feel like it! Words aren't doing justice to how jaw-dropping today's sonogram was, so hopefully these pictures below will send the message. And hey, we may even rip the DVD and put it in here too!

Picture Perfect

Your Mom and I had Mimi and Pops over for dinner last night. Using ingredients from our garden, we made Thai basil fried rice and a Thai beef salad. Your Mother ate leftover spaghetti. The nausea is gone, but the aversions continue! In fact, the salad "smelled too much like salad" while we were sitting at the dining room table (which is currently living in the room which is going to be your nursery). Needless to say, I moved the salad bowl away from your Mom's general area, which seemed to help. But, she still was pleasant enough to say that the meal we prepared "stunk" and "made the whole house smell like stink"-- but at least she was nice about it! You definitely are making her senses go crazy!

But, the meal was hardly the coolest part of Mimi and Pops' visit, and isn't even close to being the main point of my entry today.

My Dad (your Pops) has invested in having about 20 years worth of slides converted into viewable, digital pictures. Not the fun kind of slides you're thinking of.

Fun Slide.

These types of slides were a major Pyramid Scheme propogated in the late 20th century. People would take pictures on their analog cameras, and instead of having the pictures developed (like being printed out), they would have them put on to tiny, translucent, white-cardboard-bound slides.

Less Fun Slide.

These slides could then be presented at a "slideshow" (which computers now use, I guess ironically, to describe a streaming display of pictures). Back in the day, people would set up a portable screen and slide projector and then be forced to gather round and be bored to death while looking at somebody else's pictures. Tons of people were duped into participating in this slide scam; and, because he falls quite easily for scams (ask him about the property in Waterwood or the "original" painting of some Eastern European castle he bought from a door-to-door salesman), Pops fell for the slide scam too.


So, about 20 years (or more) of family photos were developed into slides, put in metal boxes and never seen ever again. That is, until Mimi and Pops decided to pay some poor joe to convert over 10,000 slides one at a time into digital photographs.


For the first time in my life, last night, I saw photos of my infancy beyond the dozen or so I'd seen before. In fact, I saw pictures of me being removed from Mimi's belly (it was a Caserian). I saw pictures of my first moments on earth. I saw pictures of me being held and loved on by your Aunt Deborah and Uncles Taff and Dana when they were just kids.







I saw pictures of your Aunt Rebekka- who was just 2 - not trying to kill me. Although I may have been trying to eat her face.


And I saw tons of pictures of Mimi and Pops holding me, making silly faces, and looking altogether 80s-tastic with gigantic glasses and laughable hairstyles.

Now, the good news for you is that your Mom, seeing these new-found pictures of me as a baby, admitted that I was "mostly cute." But, the bad news is that from other angles I kind of looked like a turtle who had fallen out of his shell.

Turtle baby?

And those were the good pictures. In the rest I looked a bit like a wormy polyp. But, I had my moments. I wouldn't worry too much: hopefully your Mom's "cute genes" will outweigh my amphibious ones. And if not, you will have what they call "character" (which has served me reasonably well...afterall, I did manage to get your mom to marry me!)

Cuter Baby?

We also noted that I had gigantic ears. It's a well-known fact that your Mom did too. So, judging from the photos that we saw last night, your chances of not being blessed with dinner-plate-ears are slim to none.


But looking at these pictures from my infancy made me nostalgic for a time I don't remember and pre-nostalgic for the times that are fast-approaching your mother and me. And don't worry, I shoot exclusively on digital-- no slides here. Except for maybe one in the backyard.