Posts
Test 1. Turkey Thermometer:
Belly Button Watch 2009: Day 3 Breaking News:
The belly button still looks like this:
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That's right, it's still an inny!
Test 2. The Dark side of the Moon
The belly is growing by leaps and bounds! Your mom definitely can't see the underside of her tummy anymore. We tested this yesterday. And it's true. Let's just say that, somehow, your Mom managed to get some paint south of her belly button, on the underside of the tummy. I pointed it out to her and we had to set up an elaborate system of mirrors and smoke (for some reason) so she could see it. Who knows how long that paint had been there! There could be a paper clip or pencil or Russian army hidden under there, and she'd have no clue! It's a definite blind spot. Very hazardous for any man, woman or child (except for you) that may be hidden there.
Test 3. The Bounce House
We also performed a bounce test, to determine if the bump is, in fact, a "belly full of jelly" or a growing stone (which will gather no moss). To scienfically test this, we had your Mom do a gentle hop.
The belly seemed immune to the effects of inertia, force and most of Newton's Laws (though gravity may be kicking in soon enough). That is to say, the result showed NO JIGGLE.
That bump is more bump than belly. It's a solid protuberance of baby, and all baby!
Test 4: On the Road Again
Apparently the city of Dallas has decided that it's awesome to replace a whole lane of the major street near our house with an off-road style course consisting of gaping pot holes and gigantic chunks of concrete every where!
This makes for a bumpy road for anyone; but more specifically, this made for a bumpy road for you, the bump.
But you passed that test by doing what any sane person would do: kicking the person in front of you, rolling around and writing a letter to your local State Senator. A Strongly worded letter.
So, here is the summary of results of the baby belly tests:
1. Belly Button is still an Inny.
2. Don't get in the blind spot.
3. That's a solid baby bump, there.
4. Bumpy Roads Disturb the Bump.
As a reward for undergoing the belly tests, we rewarded both Baby and Mama with frozen yogurt and some left over anniversary cake (did I tell you that it was our 3rd wedding anniversary on Wednesday? No? Well, we celebrated in the normal Weinstein fashion: eating. I got two mini cakes from the same bakery that made our wedding cakes.... and your Momma and I devoured them). Then, as an extra reward, your Mom read some of "Lafcadio" out loud to you, so you could hear her voice.
Trust me, you hear mine enough.
I told you scientific experimentation would have its rewards! Oh, I didn't? Well, I meant to!
