Understanding

Aidan,

The other morning you awoke a bit before my alarm. Since we were up a little early, we decided to hang out. You asked for us to read a book together. So we sat in your bed and just read. I think the book was "How do Dinosaurs Eat their Food."

The extra time from our early awakening evaporated oh-too-soon.

I had to go take a shower to get all clean and business-presentable for work.

You popped in the bathroom to talk to me for a bit at the end of the shower, asking me questions about lotion, and shaving, and flossing.

You followed me into the closet as I headed off to get dressed.

You quickly figured out what I was up to.

"Where you going?" you asked.

"I have to go to work, buddy."

"No. You don't go."

I got on one knee. You put your arms around my neck.

"I want you to know that when I'm at work every day, I think of you and Mommy and Julia all the time. And I can't wait to come home and be with you."

"Don't go."

"I'm sorry, Aidan. But I have to go to work."

"Why?"

I tried to explain how the house and the electricity and the water and even the food all cost money, and Daddy goes to work to earn the money. I told you that I have to bring home the bacon.

"Do you understand?" I asked.

You turned away from me, folded your arms on your chest and said "I don't. I don't understand."

To be honest, at that moment I didn't understand either. It sucked. I was tempted to just stay home all day, every day with you. But...we kind of need a home to stay home at.

I'm so sorry Aidan- and you too Julia- that this is the way the world works. I wish I could take like 5 paid years off to be home with you guys while you're little and then just work until I'm 72. But I don't think companies like that kind of deferment plan.

So, I'm on lunch break right now- the first one I've truly taken away from work in a long while- and since I can't be with you, I'm writing to you, and -as always- thinking about you.

One day, when you're both older and have little ones of your own, I'll hopefully be nearing 72 and I can use those 5 years to spend days on end with your little ones, so that they'll miss their Daddies and Mommies just a little less, like how Pops and Mimi and Yaya and Baba do for you.

That's the trade off, I guess. And that's the understanding.

But please know, while you don't understand now why I have to be here and you have to be there, I'm not distraught and not sad. I'm thankful that we have such a good set up that your Mommy gets to be with you every day, and I'm excited for every moment I get to spend with you both, after work, on weekends, and days off, when I get to enjoy the company of those for whom I working so hard.

All my love,

Daddy

Aidan's 4th Birthday Pirate Parrrrrrty

Aidan,

On February 27th you turned into a four year old boy.

On Mach 2 you turned into a four year old pirate.

There were mateys, scalawags, scurvy dogs…. and a bounce house.

This party was EPIC!

You bounced so hard, loved being with your friends and family…and we loved being with you.

The deck turned into a Pirate ship, complete with sail. The cupcakes were volcanoes and islands. You and your friends were a motley crew of dangerous pirates.

There were mustaches. There were beards. There were bandanas and skulls and crossbones. There was bouncing and dancing and singing. There was revelry and grog…and presents!

When You Grow Up

Aidan,

You are almost 4 years old. I am in disbelief.

Some days it seems like you're already all grown up. Other moments feel like we have a long way to go.

I'm in no rush. As I sang to you last night (on repeat, three times, at your request), "I can hardly wait to see you come of age, but I guess we'll both just have to be patient."

We're definitely enjoying the ride and as we wrap up "being 3" it's amazing to see how far you've come.

You now dress yourself (sometimes commando, and sometimes with backwards underwear) and put on your own shoes.

You brush your own teeth (sometimes). You sing to your sister and kiss her goodnight. You know your letters and your planets. We're working on numbers.

You know who you are, and sometimes you know where you're going.

I asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up.

You might think Marine Biologist?

Or maybe Radio/Music Personality:

 

 

Perhaps an explorer:

 

 

 

 



 

A bouncer?

 



 

 

Three days ago the answer was definitively, "Monster!"

Two days ago, the answer was "I get bigger and bigger. I be a GIANT!"

And yesterday, the answer was "Spiderman!"

 

I was sure "Batman" would be another career choice, but we'll have to see if that makes the short list:

No matter what you are when you grow up, though, I will never forget what you are now and when you were younger: you're head-strong, creative, loving, sensitive, funny, smart, protective (even over strangers! "You can't yell at him!" to the mother disciplining her son at the park).

 

 

You're a leader (who maybe just doesn't have any followers yet, besides Julia, who'd follow you anywhere). You've got a great mind for details, especially when it comes to stories. You're a great story teller (they all start our "Once upon ago, far far away.") You love costumes and role playing and using your imagination.

 

This is a great adventure we're on together- the adventure toward being a Grown up Giant!- and, I know it's cheesy, but since you told me that I was your one true love (you also told mommy this too), I feel like I can tell you: I'm so excited to be on this adventure with you, for as long as you'll have me.