It's Week 36, and you've got class!

Wow. It's week 36 already! That's the beginning of your ninth month! Just about 4 weeks to go, but theoretically, you could come as early as next Saturday and be considered full term!

But we're keeping our fingers (and legs) crossed for a March debut! But, if you come in February, we won't think you're any less cool!

We celebrated the beginning of your Ninth month in a classroom in the basement of the hospital in which you'll be born.

It sounds boring, I know. But it was anything but boring!

Your mother and I learned so many cool things about labor and pain management and delivery and what happens next!

There's a lot to learn here, dude!

Your mom and I learned some breathing techniques to promote calm (but none of the hee-hee-hee-hooooooo lamaze stuff you see in the movies), I was taught a couple very simple massage techniques (one using a pool noodle) to help your Mom's back, your Mom learned a couple stretches and exercises to help lull you into the right position and loosen her hips. We learned about the magical uterus!

We learned all about different ways to cope with the pain, fear and anxiety about labor. There are tons of things the partner (me) can do to help your Mom work through early labor before we get to the hospital.

Apparently joke-telling isn't one of them.

The teacher had all the women in the class put a clothes pin on the most-sensitive part of their ear and keep it there for one minute. The partners weren't allowed to interact with them at all. The clothes pins stayed on for one minute.


Then we tried the experiment again, but this time, the partners could interact. So we held hands, I played with her hair, did some shoulder massage and told some really awesome jokes.

Your Mom initially thought that she preferred the version Without me! Because, apparently, I was annoying. But, then she learned that the second clothes-pin-on-ear segment lasted for TWO minutes! And she thought it had gone by as fast- if not faster- as the first one.

Turns out I'm not completely useless (much to our collective dismay!).

But, I learned a lot of obvious things too: don't argue with Holly during labor; don't tell her to do things she's already doing (breathe!); don't ask her stupid questions (apparently there are such things!), and don't tell jokes just because I'm nervous. But, I can still be funny if the moment calls for it. I think it was foolish to leave it up to me to determine when that moment may be!
We learned alot about Drugs. Most of our lives they teach us to "Just Say No" to Drugs. But for pregnant women, there are several options to help manage the pain of labor. One is a Narcotic (called an Analgesic) one is an Epidural (which sends pain medicine directly into an area in the spinal column). Before this class your Mom was thinking of being completely drugged up the entire time. She was operating under the axiom that, with today's technology, a woman doesn't need to feel any pain in the labor and delivery.
And that's true! The epidural can be administered so well that the Mother can't even feel contractions. She has to put her hands on her belly to physically feel for them to know when to push!
After seeing these videos and learning more about the options, your Mom has changed her mind. She wants to try to go as long as possible without the drugs. In effect, she wants to feel some of the pain! But, when she's no longer satisfied with her ability to cope, she'll get the druggy druggy drugs.
But her philosophy on the pain management has changed. Your Mom's idea is that a woman shouldn't have to feel any pain that she doesn't want to feel!

At the end of the class, we got on a tour of the facility to see where you will actually be born! We saw the Labor and Delivery rooms (we're definitely requesting one with a jacuzzi in it!) and our Private Room where you, me and your Mom will stay for about 48 hours after your birth.
We also got to peek into the nursery and see two newborn baby girls. They were under an hour or so old, and way bigger than I thought they'd be. Or way bigger than I thought you will be! It's still amazing that a creature that size is inside your Mom's womb right now!
It's even more amazing to think in about 4 weeks we will all be back at that hospital, in those rooms and finally, you will be here!
I watched a little animation at the end of this blog that shows how much you've grown (from a poppyseed or smaller to a watermelon). I must admit, though I didn't cry or get teary eyed, I knew at that moment that when you arrive, I'm most likely going to cry. This was re-confirmed for me while we were sitting in the Private Post-Birth Recovery room where the new family of three will be reunited for the first time. I daydreamed about you, me and your Mom sitting there together. And I knew, again, that I'm going to be so happy to see you, to finally meet you, that -yup-there will be some old fashioned waterworks going on.
But, hopefully I don't cry like a baby. Because, at that point, you'll officially be a baby- instead of a fetus- and crying like one will officially be your job!
Oh, and for the record, I didn't last for 15 seconds with the clothes pin on my ear.

Testing the Waters

It's been almost a week since I've written to you, but, don't worry, I haven't been away from you at all.

In fact, I was by your side pretty much the whole time. But that's only because your Mom was by my side.

I had surgery last Thursday in anticipation of your arrival. Seeing your due date approaching faster and faster, I finally decided to do something I've been wanting to do for a long time: have my broken sniffer repaired.

I had what they call a deviated septum, which means that I couldn't really breathe through my nose properly. I hope you get your mother's nose, if only to avoid the deviation and the surgery.

But there was no avoiding it for me. I wanted to be able to be firing on all cylinders (and all nostrils) for all of our time together, so I decided to get the surgery done.

Your Mother - at 34 weeks pregnant- has been my "patient" for a long time, as I've been "babying" her (with good reason) for a lot of the pregnancy. (It's my pleasure to do so, seriously. ) But, starting on Thursday, I was in no condition to take care of your Mom; and she was awesome enough to take care of me.

Let's just say I was testing your Mom's maternal medical instincts- and she passed with super 'A plusses.'

She did the gross (like cleaning out my nose with Q-tips and changing my bandages and not cringing when I had to spit up blood and crud).

She was patient ( like putting up with me, and even being kind to me, while I was on pain killers that made me loopy).

She was strong for me (like telling me it would all be okay, when I was definitely feeling like it wouldn't).

She lifted my spirits (and made my laugh when I didn't feel like I could, and definitely when my stiff face and nasal stitches told me that I shouldn't-- but, despite the brief pain, laughter was the best medicine).

She took my temperature, administered my medicines, taught me how to clean up my own nose and- heck- she even washed my hair.

And all this while 34 weeks pregnant with a ever-growing, kinda painful honeydew in her belly! I knew she was hurting and tired too, but she helped me get better despite that.

So, all that is to say: when your Mom has to take care of you, I know for sure that you are in good hands. That's not to say that there was any doubt before, since she's taken care of me while I was ill (or just bummed) many times over the past 12 years. But this was just a recent reaffirmation that, really, I couldn't ask for a better wife and you couldn't ask for a better mother.

(And, no, I'm not sucking up to her; I'm just calling it like I sees it!)

Your Beautiful Mother, Trying Hard not to Smile

But, I wasn't the only one testing the waters this weekend. As you passsed your 34th week-iversary, you really started testing your Mother too. With one foot - or maybe two- firmly placed against her ribs on her right hand side, you started pushing, and stretching and stretching some more.

This is your new favorite trick; and you've been doing it sporadically all weekend, especially near bedtime. As last night was my first night back in bed (after being quarantined on the couch, to avoid a thrashing Holly hitting my face during my sleep), I was able to feel your foot pressing against her ribs and then pushing even more.

I gently held on to your foot and tried to encourage you to push it down away from her ribs, kind of like scooting a under-the-blankets tennis ball down a bed from on top of the covers (haven't you ever done that before?). But your foot firmly remained in your mother's ribs, definitely testing the limits of discomfort. So, I tried again, this time talking you through it, and almost massaging your Mom's ribs to encourage you to scoot your foot elsewhere.

To be honest, I don't really remember if I was able to get you to move your foot away, because I fell asleep - all this facial healing takes a lot of energy out of you. But, rest assured, after yours and my combined weekend of testing your Mom's strength and resolve and patience, I'm now ready to resign the efforts back to you: it's your solo gig once again.

Worry not, though- I won't leave your side for too long at all. But it will be because I will be by your Mom's side; hopefully helping her, and making her laugh, and making her dinner as you continue to kick her ribs all the way to the finish line, which is now under 40 days away.

Pains and Names: You're number one!

So, now that it's 2010, the official lists for the most popular names of 2009 have come out and, not surprisingly, your name is tops on the list (though it is spelled differently, so technically it counts as a different name).

This wasn't really a surprise, though. Back in the summer when we were coming up with names for you, we really liked the name we eventually chose for you. I'd never met anyone with that name and your mother had only met one. We knew it wasn't the world's most original name, and that it is night impossible to come up with a truly original name that won't be shared with anyone else in the world. Unless you wanted a name like "Urashfsd" or "Hzbsba." And we simply don't earn enough money to afford to name you after an inanimate object like "Apple" or "Paper Clip" or "Seesaw" or "Trigger" like so many rock stars can afford to do.

Using the really cool tool on the Social Security website, we searched your name and saw that over the past years it's been trending upward. So, yeah, we knew it was a popular name. But we didn't know it was going to be number 1 for last year! I mean, for 2008, your name wasn't even on the top 10 list. That means you sky rocketed past Jacob, Michael, Ethan, Joshua, Daniel, Alexander, Anthony, William, Christopher to take the number one spot!

You're number one!

But, even being number one doesn't make a name that popular. For example, last year's number one, Jacob, represented 1.035 % of the people born and named in 2008. That means that about one out of 100 people were named Jacob. So, it'll all depend on WHICH 100 people you choose to hang out with!

Even though we knew it was a popular name, we still decided to give you this name. We love the flow of it, the name itself, the way it fits with our last name, the fact that it honors my Grandmother, the meaning, the sound and- already- it is just...YOU!


It is interesting, though, how names like yours suddenly enter the national conciousness.

Even though we seem to have tapped into some sort of national cosmic trend without knowing it or doing it intentionally, we are sticking with your name! So, forget about it if there are 10 other kids with your name in your 1st grade class: you're still the only you on the planet! Your feelings shouldn't be hurt if you have to share your name with some other cool kids.

You are number one in another category too, though, and this one's a little bit more painful.

With the finish line in sight, the pregnancy is really starting to shift gears toward discomfort and pain.

Your mom just can't get comfortable while she's sleeping because her belly is so big.
She has these short and sorta painful fake contractions, which are just her body prepping for the big day.
Her pants ripped yesterday when she sat down (although, they were old pajama pants that she's had since she was a teenager...but it was still really funny!)

And now, your kicks and movements and jabs are tickling less and less and starting to shock and awe more and more.

Apparently, the bigger you get, the less room there is for amniotic fluid, so the body stops producing it. The lack of amniotic fluid means that there's a lot less cushioning between your fists, elbows, feet and head and your Mom's internal organs and ribs.

But, with pain comes pleasure (it's one of those dumb dualities of life); and you already are giving us so much pleasure in our lives that the pain (which surely pales in comparison to the potential pain down the road...in a month or two) is totally worth it!

So keep on kicking, buddy, and we'll keep watching for your feet to ripple under your Mom's belly. And while I'm smiling at the opportunity to feel you kick, and your Mother is grimacing, just know that we are eagerly waiting your arrival.

See, you're number one already!