The other day I went in for a smooch and Holly notified me that I "smell weird."
"What did you eat?" She asked.
"A slice of pizza and tuna fish." I replied.
"Yup! That's it! That's what it stinks like!"
Okay, admittedly, that snack wasn't my finest culinary hour, and tuna pizza breath would probably offend a regularly-powered nose.
But then yesterday, we were talking after we both got home from work and I was notified again that my breath stank once again. I did have a sandwich for lunch, but no tuna and pizza to speak of.
"You've been eating cloves of garlic again?" she asked.
First of all, I only did that like twice, and secondly, I hadn't done it that day!
But her nose was so sensitive that I was instructed to speak out of the corners of my mouth...like the Ninja Turtles.
So, it's entirely possible that I suffer from halitosis. But I seriously doubt it. My mouth is so clean you could eat off of it! I think what we're really dealing with here is pregnancy Super Powers rearing their ugly heads again. First victim: anyone that might not smell like roses 24 hours a day. Namely, me and my breath.
Speaking of putting things to bed (how was that for a segue?), I started thinking yesterday about what Lullabyes we want to sing to you.
We could sing the Ben Folds Lullabye we heard at his concert (which you seemed to react well to, since you did kick your mother a lot during that concert).
And then, there are tons of Beatles candidates too, including Blackbird (which my old College roommate taught me to play on Guitar), I'm So Tired, Let it Be and Golden Slumbers.
And also a strong candidate is "All the Pretty Little Ponies" which- with a little bit of Hebrew added in- is pretty much the Lullabye Mimi and Pops sang me and Aunt Rebekka when we were growing up.
I also am quite fond of Simon and Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence," though I don't think it's a lullabye.
But, in an effort to sing that tune to you last night, I came across a very serious, chronic, hereditary illness from which I suffer: Lyric-itis. I inherited it from Mimi (who famously sang the song "You make me so very happy" as "Me so Me so very happy")
In "Away We Go" (that movie we were watching when I felt you kick) this pregnant lady sings a pretty cool lullabye to her niece: Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man." SHE KNEW EVERY WORD TO THE SONG off the top of her head! I couldn't even get through one verse of "Sound of Silence" before I started make words up. I couldn't even do "Let it Be" without the song playing along with me! Singing you a Lullabye is gonna be pretty tricky if I dont' know any words to any songs.
So I started compiling a list of songs whose lyrics I do know:
- Boehmian Rhapsody
- Row, Row Your Boat
- Some of "Rapper's Delight"
- Quite a bit of Weird Al's "Yoda"
- Werewolf Bar Mitzvah
Yeah, these will all make terrible Lullabyes. I've got to start memorizing some lyrics!
In any case though, please be sure that after we tuck you in and turn on your nightlight (which your Mom made herself! Check it out below) and BEFORE we start singing you a Lullabye, I will brush my teeth, rinse with Scope and eat a mint- just in case you get your Momma's nose.
Coolest Night Light Ever! Made for you by your Mother! Sleep tight, little guy!