Placemat Placement

I don't really buy into all of this stuff, but it's still kind of cool. Unless you're born in the next 2 days, you will be a PISCES on the Zodiac Calendar.

I'm a Capricorn- that means I'm a half goat half fish.

Your Mom is a Libra- that means she's scales.

And apparently goat fish plus scales equals...more fish!

Pisces is the "fish" from the sky, which is a water sign. A bit ironic, since your name means "Little Fire," but what can you do?

Apparently Pisces is two fish trying to eat each other's rear ends, just like Toby and Preston do.

I won't even go into all of the personality pros and cons of your sign, because, like I said before, I think we make our own destinies and that nothing is pre-written. But, you can always Google it anyway, so maybe I'll just put the personality pros up here, as encouragement.

According to Madame Zelda Astroplane, Pisces are...

- Compassionate
- Adaptable
- Accepting
- Devoted
- Imaginative

Those are some good qualities to have! I dont' think anyone born in any month would turn those down!

But, of course, everyone knows that if you're going to talk about birth signs, you have to give credence to the wisdom of the Chinese Zodiac Calendar restaurant placemat as well.

Each year is the year of a rotating assortment of animals and creatures. Your Mom was born in 1981 and she is a Rooster. I was born in 1982, the year of the dog. So, supposedly, me and everyone else born in 1982 have similar aspirations, characteristics, likes and dislikes. I think this is bogus because I know lots of '82ers and we're all different!

But, all that aside, let's see where your Egg Drop Soup will land on the Chinese Restaurant Placemat!

So Dog Plus Rooster Equals TIGER!

According to the placemat, the Chinese Zodiac Tiger is "sensitive, emotional and capable of great love. However, he has a tendency to get carried away and be stubborn about what he thinks is right; often seen as a "Hothead" or rebel. The sign shows he would be excellent as a boss, an explorer, a race car driver, or a matador."

Well, let me just say up front that you can be anything you want to be when you grow up...except a Matador or Race Car Driver. You can explore though, as long as you don't do any Bear Grylls type stuff (if he's not still alive when you read this, let me know and I'll explain).

I hope you're not too rebellious, though, and try to miss your Chinese Zodiac sign by staying in for an extra 9 months. First of all, 2011 is the year of the Rabbit, so that's not worth being rebellious for, and, secondly, the Doctor won't let you rebel for more than a week past your due date.

You're going to be a Tiger no matter what. And, unless you're born in the next two days (which it doesn't look like you're going to be), you're a fish too.

And for some reason, there is a picture of the Tiger/Fish duo online. As you'll find out, the internet is a wealth of information:

And you'd better not be too stubborn either! Apparently "during the journey out of the womb, baby will produce more stress hormones than any other time in life." So, between your Mom's pain and your stress hormones, you might to wait to be stubborn until your about, say, 18 years old.

But then again, I don't buy into this whole Zodiac stuff anyway (which makes it even more odd that I decided to write about it). Afterall, the Chinese Gender Predictor said you were going to be a girl, and we all know how correct that turned out to be!