The Honeydew Period

Feel like you've been squashed for far too long? No, I'm not talking about the rapidly dwindling amount of space you have in your Mom's tummy-- though, I bet that's really squashed quarters. I'm talking about your fruit/veg comparison continuum. After spending 4 weeks on the scales as a "squash," you've now officially been upgraded:

You're now the size of a Honeydew Melon (you know, cantaloupe's amazing, green cousin)! (remind me to tell you a HILARIOUS joke when you come out about why the honeydew told the watermelon they couldn't run away to get married).

What's even more amazing, is that after a honeydew holding pattern for a few weeks, you've only got one more fruit on the list: Watermelon. Clearly these last few weeks are all melon, but that doesn't make us melancholy in any way. Granted, your Mom is struggling a bit in her landings and takeoffs from couches, beds and the floor, and her back pain is getting especially ripe, but she's just ecstatic to have a little honeydew-sized honey growing in her belly! And, in my opinion, she looks absolutely beautiful carrying you, despite the presence of 2/3 of a fruit salad in her tummy.

When we got married, someone told me that I would forever be subject to "honeydew lists;" clearly, this refers to you in this 8th month of pregnancy in some Nostradamus way. Actually, no it doesn't, but it's quite poetic, no? The honeydew list in question is, in fact, a reference to some stereotypical nagging wife forcing her bedraggled husband to do multiple chores: "Honey, Do this!" "Honey, do that!" Well, your Mother's and my relationship doesn't really work like that, as you'll soon know. Sure, we have to-do lists that we both freely populate and depopulate, but there's hardly any nagging. Unless the item on the list is something that I don't really want to do at all, in which case, some nagging or pouting may be necessary to get my butt in gear.

But, at any rate, this weekend - to celebrate your arrival as a honeydew- your Mom and I crossed another item off of our pregnancy honeydew lists. And this was one item that we've both been looking forward to, as it stretched our creative muscles!

A lot of people get professional pictures taken when they're pregnant (these are called maternity pictures). Your Mom thought that I could do a good enough job taking these pictures and -that way- we could have a really cool, personal experience taking them and save a little extra cash to get professional studio pictures taken when you are born!

So, we hung up some sheets, cleaned ourselves up and turned your nursery into a photography studio! I don't consider myself an awesome photographer at all. But, I have an awesome camera (thanks to Cousin Steve and Ruthy!), and your Mom is awesome at Photoshop, and that seemed to do the trick!

These pictures really just confirm three things for me: 1) your Mom truly makes a beautiful pregnant lady; 3) You're a good looking bump, and have been all the way from the beginning of lime to this, our honeydew period; 3) your Mom takes better photographs than she gives haircuts (note to self- pay for haircuts).

Attempting some Jedi Mind Tricks

Elegant Honeydew!

My Honey and our Honeydew

Take amazing pictures?

Honey done!

Even though you're no longer a squash, and you're definitely getting more and more squashed with each passing day, you make a peach of a honeydew!

Clearly You're Nuts!

We're officially 33 weeks pregnant as of this weekend, and the time is just flying. To celebrate your 33rd week of development, we really kicked the shopping into high gear. This weekend we went to:

• 2 different Babies 'R' Us Locations
• The same Super Target twice (on two separate days (both for baby related returns/purchases))
• A NEW Buy Buy Baby location

I know, I know. It sounds riveting, and all this baby shopping sounds like it would be enough to castrate the most testosterone-filled manly man. You might even think that a man would have to be nuts to withstand this amount of baby shopping and perusing and returning and coupon clipping. But, despite the hives that I still get in Babies R Us (now proven to be hive-worthy in multiple locations!), it's always a great adventure going baby shopping with your mom. And, after all, you're my baby too! So, heck yeah, you'll find me in Buy Buy Baby or the baby aisle in Target without batting an eyelash. But, seriously, Babies R Us- even though I like your coupons (which I then use at Buy Buy Baby) and your clearance items- your stores are probably very close to what H-E-double hockey sticks might be like. So, no, you don't have to be nuts to go baby shopping- in fact, I kind of like it. Plus, then I can talk about the nipples and breast pump adapters we got and freak out our less baby-ready friends and family.

Speaking of going nuts, though, in week 33-34 of your development, your testicles are making their way down from your abdomen to their final destination: your scrotum. I had mine in my abdomen once; but Six Flags closed that roller coaster down after several complaints.

But seriously, though, I think a Mazel Tov is in order! Not only are your testicles descending faster than the ball in Times Square on New Years Eve (yes, I'm questioning if this simile is appropriate for you to read), but you are also growing very quickly too. From here on out, you will be gaining about a half a pound a week! Compared to the fact that your Mom is gaining 1 pound a week, your growth is no small peanuts!

And, considering that your Mimi and Pops are taking your Mother and Me to Texas de Brazil (all you can eat meat!) tonight, I may gain a half a pound or more too! Clearly the nut doesn't fall too far from the tree!