Big Baby

So, here we are at week 14. You missed this week's you-to-fruit comparison, didn't you? Well, fret not. In week 14, you are approximately the size of a Lemon!

How cool is that? You know, your Mom LOVES lemons! She ate so many of them when she was a kid that she wore down the enamel on her teeth and, consequently, they didn't glow in black lights. But, that's all been fixed now. Yay for modern dentistry!

Some cool things in your development this week:

• You are "making urine"- that sounds just like your dear old Dad. I make urine quite frequently.
  
• You are breathing amniotic fluid. Okay, so that sounds a bit amphibious. But, eventually you'll breathe good old air.
  
• Your liver, kidneys and spleen are developing like crazy! You'll need all of those, fer sure!

And, this one's pretty cool. You are growing thin, downy, feathery hair all over your body for warmth. I know you may be worried that you'll look like me after I got my head shaved or Uncle Jeremy or some kind of Wookie, but don't worry.

This hair growth, called Lanugo, is only gonna stick around while you're in the womb. It's cold in there, apparently! They have some high tech images of what this Lanugo looks like:

See, you look more like Mark Twain than a Wookie. But, you're definitely in a part-mammal, part-amphibian stage in your life. Which means you could, theortically, star in Waterworld 2. (Don't worry, these jokes will be hilarious later in life).

But, the most interesting thing, to me, is that, apparently, you're above average already! The Bump says that at week 14, on average, the baby is 3.4 inches long.

A week ago yesterday, you clocked in at 4.o inches long, from rump to head! That makes you significantly larger than the average-sized baby! Almost 1/3 bigger than the average!

This revelation was greeted with a humorous exhange between your mother and I (very intelligently debating the difference in our respective sizes):

Aaron: "Our baby is way longer than the average length. The Bump says that at week 14, on average, the baby is 3.4 inches long. But our baby measured 4 inches long. LAST WEEK!"

Holly: "Really?"

Aaron: "Yeah, look at me!"

Holly: "Are we gonna have a big baby?"

Aaron: "Yeah, look at me!"

Holly: "Yeah, but look at me!"

Aaron: "So, look at me!"

Holly: "Yeah, but look at me!"

This went on ad nauseum until our batteries wore out. We haven't gotten any stats on percentiles or anything like that, yet. But, if this lemon information is any good, you might be a big baby!

Whether you'll be big or not, I still can't get over how much you've grown from the first time we saw you! You're a little person in there now; at first glance you were just a smudge with a heartbeat!

Pregnancy Head

The powers that be describe an ancient side-effect of pregnancy described as "Pregnancy Head." This side-effect has, largely, contributed to the downfall of mankind.

Technically, "Pregnancy Head" or "Pregnancy Brain is described as follows:

"What it is: Pregnancy-induced brain fog, a true (and truly frustrating) hallmark of pregnancy. You may forget appointments, what you just walked into the store for, where you left your purse, whether you turned off the stove — and maybe, your phone number.

What causes it: As usual in pregnancy, it's just your hormones having some fun, this time at the expense of your memory. And believe it or not, your brain-cell volume actually decreases during the third trimester of pregnancy (which could explain why you can't remember what you just read about in that last paragraph). Not to worry, your brain will plump back up a few months after delivery."

That sounds all fine and dandy. No. Wait. It sounds horrible. In fact, it spells one word for me, son: DISASTER.

In a bit of a "Flowers for Algernon" moment (don't worry, you'll have to read that story in Junior High), I've slowly been watching your Mother lose her grip on her brain.

I've seen little clues laying around the house that her memory is slipping into a place of baby-thoughts and absentmindedness. They take the form of hair ties.

These black, elastic ringlets of doom have been left and littered in every room in the house. I find them everywhere: in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the bed. I haven't found one in the fridge yet. Though several were lost on the plane. I know your Mom says it's just because her hair is slippery, and I assume that has something to do with it. But, it's so unlike her to lose anything! To misplace a mitten, to lose a letter to forget a forget-me-not.

The pregnancy head reached a head this weekend. Mimi and Pops gave your Mom a bracelet (that once belonged to Pops' mom). As we were half way back to New Hampshire, I looked at your Mom's wrist and asked her if she remembered the bracelet.

Now, not to worry. Within moments, I had called the hotel, the found the bracelet and had put it in a FedEx envelope with our address on it. But the point is this: if Pregnancy Head continues, we are all screwed.

You see, the problem is, I am supposed to be the forgetful one. I lose my wallet once a year, I often misplace my phone and keys while I'm texting and driving (not at the same time, mind you). I can't find my pants, or my socks, or my shoes, or my rocks (read, "marbles"). My head is not screwed on. I can't be trusted. Yet in this new formula, with Pregnancy Head attacking your Mom's brain cells, I have to be the mindful one!

This is not. looking. good. Example: I too lost something this weekend at the Hotel in Maine. But I didn't realize it until we got home. So, goodbye cell phone charger (at least we had a spare). See, I'm as absentminded as they come.

I don't want to be a fear monger here, but, thank goodness we can't lose you! You're safe and secure in your Mom's belly. Which she takes with her where ever she goes!

But, Pregnancy Head greatly reducing the number of gigabytes in the Weinstein hard drive, I may find myself lost one day soon! At least I wasn't left behind in the hotel in Maine!

A good sign of Pregnancy Head: Giggling while playing with Crayons. On the other hand, though, there is some hope: it seems that she was organizing the Crayons by color. This could mean that we aren't doomed!

Update: After reading this post, your Mom still managed to leave her cellular phone at the art studio. We're all doomed again!

14 Week Fireworks!

Mimi, Pops, your Mom, you and I just returned from a trip to Maine last night. We got to see and hang out with tons of family, including your Uncle Taff, Aunt April, and your Cousins Addison and Autumn. Taff and I even went baby clothes shopping at the Maine Mall; I'm pretty sure we looked like quite an odd couple to be visiting Baby Gap together in Maine. But, it was totally worth it. I bought you some really hip clothes (which have buttoned-up bottoms (something Pops will probably be envious of)) AND a really cool Darth Vader t-shirt which you can wear in March of 2011. Talk about planning ahead!

So, we were in Maine on your 14th week conception day celebration! As mentioned above, I celebrated by buying you clothes!

You and your Mom chose to celebrate with some FIREWORKS! A real outpouring of excitement!

So, Southwest Airlines is cool and all, but they're not the most direct way to travel. Your Mom stomached the ~10-hour journey up to Maine. And on the way back she did just fine on the drive from Maine to Manchester, New Hampshire. The flight from Manchester to Baltimore was decent too. By the time we flew from Baltimore to St. Louis, Missouri, though, your mom was starting to feel a little unwell. During the flight from St. Louis to Dallas, she seemed like she was going to make it: pale, eyes shut, feeling pretty ill and holding on to the seat in front of her for dear life.

Then they announced that we had begun our initial descent into Dallas. I could see patchwork ground out the window. I could also feel that the ride had gotten substantially bumpier. Your Mom hadn't said a word in about 15 minutes; then she made her move and deftly reached for the barf bag tucked in the back of her seat. She put it to her mouth and...and....WHAT A SAVE!

She breathed heavily into the bag, letting it inflate and deflate with her breaths; but crisis was averted.

Or so I thought.

Moments later, the bag made its way back to your Mom's face. The crunch of the landing gear coming out of the bottom of the plane seemed to be the only sound I heard. I looked at your Mom, and she looked at the back of her eyelids; eyes tightly close. This was it. The grand finale. The fireworks!

I held her hair and exchanged the first bag for the second, the second for the third. She recycled her Starbucks Banana Strawberry Milkshake and Bagel sandwich.

Your Mom had quite a record going! 14 weeks and 2 days of pregnancy without vomiting. But, on that flight to Dallas, the record was wiped clean. My sweatshirt had to be wiped clean as well. The man in the aisle seat of our row, unfortunately, did not say "goodbye" to us as he left.

This just goes to prove that when your Mom does something, she does it big. And anyway, as your Mom said soon afterwards, "At Least you'll have something for the blog."

So, in utero, you've been to Massachusettes, Rhode Island, New Hampshire and Maine! And, I believe it's safe to say this will mark the end of your in utero inter-state adventures.

But, the fireworks were all for you, young man!

Here's what we know so far: you are 14 weeks old, you don't like flying, and you already have some pretty cool clothes to wear; I am down one sweatshirt; and your mother is feeling MUCH better now.

Happy 14th week!

Scary Sonogram and Gender Prediction Ender

The sonogram technician yesterday said she wouldn't show us a close-up of your face because, basically, right now it's only skin tightly draped over bone, creating quite a skeletal visage. She said lots of people get scared when they see it; so we were okay with that.


But then the Doctor came in to do his sonogram and almost immediately showed us your face! Now, it certainly doesn't look "cute" due to the facts mentioned above, and also because the sonogram is an x-ray-ing device...causing us to see through things that we normally can't see through. The result is that the sonogram looks a bit scary right now!

Almost like the Predator, the Donnie Darko Rabbit or Jack Skellington:

Oh, by the way, no chance you're seeing "Predator" or "Donnie Darko" for a long, long time. But, "Nightmare Before Christmas," we can probably arrange sooner than later.

No matter what celebrity skeleton the sonogram resembles, everyone can agree that you look like your Mother when she's hungry (and angry). Actually, we have no doubt about how cute and precious you're going to be; which is why I can openly share that scary sonogram with you. It's not everyday that someone gets to see their pre-natal skull! Pretty cool!


Now your profile, like the sonogram technician said, is all the proof we need that you're adorable! You've got a little button nose, a tiny teeny ching and a good looking head!

Look at that punum!

SPOILERS BELOW: Don't read on if you don't want to know the baby's gender.

But, of course, your multitude of fans didn't congregate here to marvel at your face. Today, they're much more interested in something below the belt. So, without further adieu (and only a slight qualification (the Doctor said he was 90% sure about this diagnosis)):

YOU'RE A BOY!

Here's the evidence:

And to celebrate, please enjoy this song by, of course, John Lennon, that really aptly sums up what's been going on in both your Mother's and my head since we found out!

Also, proving you're already a leader and not a follower, you totally proved all those Old Wives Tales to be COMPLETELY wrong! Look at you, already a solid Weinstein de-bunker!

Picture Perfect, Part II

Today we went in for our Week 13 sonograms (thanks to Iris and David for convincing us to go)...and they were AMAZING.

We have an early surprise! Well, it's not a surprise to you, as you already know. But, anyone who wants to know our baby's gender should check back tomorrow!

That's right, I'm such a torturer that I'm going to make them all wait til tomorrow to find out, if they don't know already!

But, I don't want the gender news to overshadow all the other awesome things that we saw today.

We saw you kicking your legs like crazy, and we saw a close up of your little foot. (all 5 toes accounted for!)


We saw your heart pumping blood; all four ventricles are working! And we saw your brain!

We saw you scratch your head, stretch down and play with your toes, and scratch your chin.



We heard your heartbeat again- still in a great range: 160 bpm!

It was really amazing. Your Mom and I didn't cry, but we were both just floored at how much you've grown since your last picture session and how human your movements were. Actually, most of your movements were very human, but your legs looked a little bit like when Kermit the Frog rides his bicycle. You know...kind of almost as if they were moving independently of the rest of your body's motions, but this might have been heightened because we couldn't see your arms!


But, Muppet or not, the experience was incredible. And then to make it even more incredible, we discovered your gender (with 90% certainty!)

It was so great to see you again and count your fingers and toes. It was the stuff of dreams to watch you kicking and squirming and moving around.

And, at the very end, you gently fell asleep on your Mom's bladder. Face down. The doctors tried to wake you up by jostling the belly, but you wouldn't wake up for anything! You sound like a Weinstein already!

They even made DVD of the whole sonogram for us, so we can watch you whenever we feel like it! Words aren't doing justice to how jaw-dropping today's sonogram was, so hopefully these pictures below will send the message. And hey, we may even rip the DVD and put it in here too!

Picture Perfect

Your Mom and I had Mimi and Pops over for dinner last night. Using ingredients from our garden, we made Thai basil fried rice and a Thai beef salad. Your Mother ate leftover spaghetti. The nausea is gone, but the aversions continue! In fact, the salad "smelled too much like salad" while we were sitting at the dining room table (which is currently living in the room which is going to be your nursery). Needless to say, I moved the salad bowl away from your Mom's general area, which seemed to help. But, she still was pleasant enough to say that the meal we prepared "stunk" and "made the whole house smell like stink"-- but at least she was nice about it! You definitely are making her senses go crazy!

But, the meal was hardly the coolest part of Mimi and Pops' visit, and isn't even close to being the main point of my entry today.

My Dad (your Pops) has invested in having about 20 years worth of slides converted into viewable, digital pictures. Not the fun kind of slides you're thinking of.

Fun Slide.

These types of slides were a major Pyramid Scheme propogated in the late 20th century. People would take pictures on their analog cameras, and instead of having the pictures developed (like being printed out), they would have them put on to tiny, translucent, white-cardboard-bound slides.

Less Fun Slide.

These slides could then be presented at a "slideshow" (which computers now use, I guess ironically, to describe a streaming display of pictures). Back in the day, people would set up a portable screen and slide projector and then be forced to gather round and be bored to death while looking at somebody else's pictures. Tons of people were duped into participating in this slide scam; and, because he falls quite easily for scams (ask him about the property in Waterwood or the "original" painting of some Eastern European castle he bought from a door-to-door salesman), Pops fell for the slide scam too.


So, about 20 years (or more) of family photos were developed into slides, put in metal boxes and never seen ever again. That is, until Mimi and Pops decided to pay some poor joe to convert over 10,000 slides one at a time into digital photographs.


For the first time in my life, last night, I saw photos of my infancy beyond the dozen or so I'd seen before. In fact, I saw pictures of me being removed from Mimi's belly (it was a Caserian). I saw pictures of my first moments on earth. I saw pictures of me being held and loved on by your Aunt Deborah and Uncles Taff and Dana when they were just kids.







I saw pictures of your Aunt Rebekka- who was just 2 - not trying to kill me. Although I may have been trying to eat her face.


And I saw tons of pictures of Mimi and Pops holding me, making silly faces, and looking altogether 80s-tastic with gigantic glasses and laughable hairstyles.

Now, the good news for you is that your Mom, seeing these new-found pictures of me as a baby, admitted that I was "mostly cute." But, the bad news is that from other angles I kind of looked like a turtle who had fallen out of his shell.

Turtle baby?

And those were the good pictures. In the rest I looked a bit like a wormy polyp. But, I had my moments. I wouldn't worry too much: hopefully your Mom's "cute genes" will outweigh my amphibious ones. And if not, you will have what they call "character" (which has served me reasonably well...afterall, I did manage to get your mom to marry me!)

Cuter Baby?

We also noted that I had gigantic ears. It's a well-known fact that your Mom did too. So, judging from the photos that we saw last night, your chances of not being blessed with dinner-plate-ears are slim to none.


But looking at these pictures from my infancy made me nostalgic for a time I don't remember and pre-nostalgic for the times that are fast-approaching your mother and me. And don't worry, I shoot exclusively on digital-- no slides here. Except for maybe one in the backyard.

Book Learnin' : Ear to Belly

We used to think "What to Expect When You're Expecting" was THE only pregnancy book you needed. In fact, it was really the only viable pregnancy book we had, aside from The Caveman's Guide to Pregnancy, the creepy, hilariously out-of-date, cartoon fetus book Mimi gave us from the 60s ("Freddy the Fetus") and the equally creepy, out-of-date, incredibly graphic photo book from the 70s Bibi gave us.

Not quite the same as Uncle Jeremy's poster.

But, when visiting our friends Iris and David the other day, they opened our eyes to a bunch of really cool books, including one by Jenny McCarthy (who used to be on a poster in your Uncle Jeremy's room...but not for her skills as a pregnancy humorist.) But one of the coolest and most useful books they showed us "Your Pregnancy Week by Week."

Hopefully she's asleep and not passed out due to a severe allergic reaction to daffodils and ragweed.

I bring up these books because, you know kids these days, they'll try anything they see in a book.

In the 13th week chapter of that "Week by Week" book, I saw a picture of a Father placing his ear against his wife's pregnant belly, as if he were on the belly phone. I thought, "well, if that guy can hear his baby's heartbeat with his naked ear, then I should too!"

So I gave it a try, and put my ear directly on your Mom's belly. This was very weird. I heard all sorts of gurgles and squeaks and crunches and sizzles...but no heartbeat yet. I think the book lied to me.

But I'm definitely going to keep trying!

I bet you can hear your Mom's heartbeat...and maybe soon you'll be able to hear us out here in the non-wombed world! So, maybe we should start reading these books aloud so you can hear!